


Through the eyes of an animal

by FreakyPseudWriter



Series: The Copycat [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Cats, Cats are dorks, Cute, F/M, Jutsu Gone Wrong, Living Together, Reader-Insert, Secret Identity, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Insert, body transformation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-13 05:25:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 43,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11752974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreakyPseudWriter/pseuds/FreakyPseudWriter
Summary: One rainy day, you meet a cat who sits right in front of your appartment, the fur silver like a blade, with one scarred eye and a frightening intelligence for a cat.What a coincidence that your neighbor Kakashi Hatake went on a mission and didn't return yet...





	1. The evening where you fish and bed got stolen

**Author's Note:**

> Something I worked on in between my other stuff (life, my other longer fic and so on, the usual). I hope some will like it. You're free to leave comments or any type of constructive criticism. English isn't my first language, so I'm grateful for any remarks and such.  
> What happens when the notorious dog lover Kakashi Hatake is turned into a cat and the one who finds him pins on the human? That was the red thread, but then it turned longer than I expected...

The whole day the sky above Konoha had looked like soon the gates of heaven would open. Grey clouds piled up, slowly floating closer and piling up into a massive wall of darkness, plus the thunder rolling in the distance from time to time. You, in your thick chunin vest and the long standard ninja pants cursed the high humidity. Sweat poured down your back and gathered in your neck, only easing when you had bound your annoyingly thick hair into a ponytail. Now, as you exited the T&I center, the very first drops of rain began to fall and not the shy, soft ones. No, the heaven maybe hesitated the whole day long, but when it opened, the gates were ripped open, with all its might.

You cried frustrated out as the massive shower of warm summer rain hit you. “FUCK!” With your enhanced speed it would’ve been no problem to outrun a thorough soak, but there was the pile of files in your arms. Your harsh but fair boss Ibiki Morino ordered you to go through them, to correct any mistakes and rewrite some of the handwritten notes in there (your jammed letters really resembled chicken’s scratch, you knew) and so you would, but had the goddamn rain to come down when you were about to go home!?

“Great.” You mumbled under your breath as you walked down the street, trying to shield the feeble papers with your own body and watching the last people running hurriedly into the safety of their houses. Rain already made its way under your clothes, making the fabric of the vest and shirt underneath sticking to your skin. You grimaced at the wet feeling. Time for a luke warm shower tonight. Seriously, first the heat residing over Konoha for weeks and now the great downpour.

Your small flat was at a decent distance to your workplace, not really far away, but also not exactly around the corner. The shortcut over the roofs lasted maybe ten minutes, but walking the same road the civilians of Konoha used every day was taking nearly forty minutes. Thank god the files weren’t completely destroyed and soaked when you finally entered the street where your house was located. Your toes were muddied, your mood was horrible (you liked rain, but not when you had important work documents in your arms) and your stomach was hanging somewhere at the height of your knees. Craving for a nice easy dinner and already named shower, you just wanted to escape the rain.

 But there was something sitting in front the doorstep, just as soaked as you, but surely being more than only miserable. A cat. The eyes fixed on the door, like it would open magically if the small animal had the power to make them open by the mere power of its stare.

You weren’t really surprised. Around Konoha your district was famous for harboring swarms of cats and many lovers of said arrogant and lazy animal moved here to feed the homeless ones and spoil them into fat douchebags. Also you had your fair share of encounters and until today you thought you knew every cat near your flat. But this small poor thing was new.

You stopped for a split second, watching the cat not even flinch when you spoke up. “What are you doing here, huh? In this weather?”

The left ear turned to you, but otherwise nothing. So it wasn’t an affectionate one. Good, you were always down for some cuddles, but not today, not with files piling in your arms and dripping rain all over the place. With a sigh you stomped around the cat and tried to find your keys. Not in your pockets. Not in your vest. Maybe…

Sure. Naturally you had to forget your keys on your desk back in the office when it was raining and you had sensitive information with you which you couldn’t leave alone to run back and get your keys! For a short second you allowed yourself to dwell in your self-pity, then you shook your head. You were a ninja! Something like this stupid lock wouldn’t stop you from entering your own home!

 

Settling the files carefully down, you glanced at the cat, which still hadn’t moved one inch. “Don’t get your tail twisted okay? And don’t rant me out to your owner, alright?”

Intense eyes met yours. Maybe you hallucinated, but wasn’t there understanding and even faint amusement in those black round pupils?

“You’re making fun of me.”

The tail twitched. Could mean anything, but you took it as a yes. Rolling your own eyes, you selected two slender pins out of your vest and kneeled in front of the door. “So,” you asked absent-minded while you worked on the lock, “to whom of our crazy inhabitants you belong to? You don’t seem to be a stray, with no scabies or holes in your fur. Maybe the couple above me? No, they have a newborn and you don’t look like a cute family cat. What about the woman at the first level? She has a lot of cats.”

The one beside you made a low throaty sound. One look at the bared teeth and you nodded. “So I assume you don’t like her. Okay, I give you that. Mhmm…”

Your neighbor crossed your mind. Immediately heat soared into your face and embarrassed to the very core your features twisted into an apologetic mess. “I’m so stupid.” you mumbled to the cat, who was by now watching you with the same intensity it had given the door before your arrival. “Getting all flustered over the mere image… Nevermind.”

The door clicked open. An old injury in your right knee cracked loudly as you stood quickly up, taking the files into your arms. “Well,” with your foot you held the entrance open, out of the corner of your vision watching the cat still sitting at the slightly wet doorstep, rain drops slicking the fur to a tight coat around the frail bones of the animal. Seriously, you couldn’t even make out the color of the cat. It must have sit for hours here or in an open field to get that wet.

 

Minutes ticked by and the cat stubbornly continued to sit on the outside, while your arms and legs grew tired by holding onto the huge pile of files and at the same time holding the door open. Sometime, the already thin thread of your patience snapped.

“Come on now,” you hissed into the direction of the innocent animal, “get in! I can’t just let you stay out here, even when your owner isn’t living here! So get inside, stay for a little while and then you can go to wherever you need to be-! Why am I fighting with a cat!?”

A whine escaped your lips. “It’s not like you can understand me.” Aspirated you sighed out, then locked once more eyes with the wet animal. “Okay, no matter if you understand me or not, I’m closing the door in exactly five seconds. Five, four, three, two, one-!” You lifted your foot.

Slowly, oh so slowly the door fell shut. In the meantime you tried to tell yourself that you gave the cat more than enough time to react at least a tiny bit. Nevertheless sympathy for the poor thing held a tight grip on your heart. A lone cat in the heavy rain… Hopefully it didn’t get sick…

A low mewl, claws scratching over stone and a shadow squirming through the smallest of possible openings, just before the entrance closed and would’ve locked the cat out. Another sigh build up in your chest, but the relief that the animal didn’t have to sleep out in the open with the world going down was getting the better of you. So you beamed brightly at the cat, which strolled casually over, just like it had intended to go inside from the very beginning, but liked to keep you guessing for the sake of its own amusement. “You’re a mischievous one, huh?”

Another mewl, higher this time and clearly directed at you. In response you chuckled and adjusted the files on your arms once more. “Well… I have nothing against to let you stay for some time, until the rain eases. As long as you want. But my guess is you won’t stay for long. After all it’s in a cat’s nature.”

The cat kept silent, though the tail was standing at attention, twitching lightly. You shrugged and didn’t wait when you climbed up the stairs. But in the end when you reached your level and kneeled down to pick the lock of your own flat, you noticed the small thin shadow nearing and sitting down in some distance, watching your form closely.

 

This time the animal didn’t wait for the last moment to follow you. Now it nearly made you stumble with its eagerness to get inside and the mix of annoyance and amusement you felt was fighting for a second, then the amusement won. A close call, but it won.

Your flat was nothing special. But it was yours and with passion you kept your things clean and organized. But that wasn’t everything to see. There were plants near the window and you were especially proud of your red desert rose, which was giving the room some kind of exotic vibe. Months you spent with research how to keep it alive and well nourished and those months were well spent, given the vibrant color and big flower petals. Everytime you entered your home and threw a look at the flower, you just had to smile.

Beside the plants, there were also a few bookshelves sitting at the walls, stuffed with scrolls in all sizes, books in all varieties and out of all genres. Though there was also a book tower near your wide bed, telling of the insomniac nights you had to waste from time to time.

The cat looked curiously around, vanished shortly in the little kitchen corner, paced back into the middle of your one room apartment, jumped on your desk standing in the corner opposite to your bed and seemed to inspect the documents there. But that was nonsense. Cats couldn’t read.

Then you noticed the wet paw spur the animal left on your carpet. The animal was dripping, the thick fur soaked in water and was now idly playing with the _edges of one of your important reports!_

“Down from the desk!” you shrieked in horror, seeing already the water splashing on the carefully written letters of your latest work. Startled the cat hissed and like a flash hid under the bed. Not caring about anything else, you hastily checked the files for any lasting damage and breathed relieved out when you saw there was none. “Sorry,” with a loud crash you added your load to the mess on top of the desk and toed your sandals off, “I’m not used to have someone here, even when it’s only a cat.”

Nothing. Filled to the brim with guilt, you walked to the window and tugged one small branch off of one of the smaller plants. The plant itself was nothing special, even apparently boring in comparison to the bright and colorful desert rose. But even when it was only green and only blossomed in white-purplish flowers during the summer months, you were sure of the effect the smell would have on your scared guest.

You rubbed the leaves between your fingertips as you got to the ground in front your bed. “Hey,” you flirted with the cat and offered the catnip on your open palm, “I have something special for you. As a peace offering.”

 

Yellow eyes blinked in the darkness, but nothing else happened. You must look like a total mad woman, kneeling and nearly crawling under your bed and cooing with your sweetest voice you were able to fake. And the cat must thought that too as it scrambled deeper underneath the furniture, not coming closer.

“Fine, I understand. I leave that here,” indeed you placed the catnip on the ground, “while I’m under the shower. And afterwards I’m going to rub you dry, finding out what kind of color you are, you rascal.”

The rain still pattered against the glass of your windows as you undressed in the middle of the living room, not caring about the wet splash the clothes made on the ground when you dropped them on the white tiles of the kitchen corner. Before hopping into the bathroom, you opened one of the windows a little bit, enough to let some fresh air in, but not the cold rain too.

The cat was at least interested into the catnip. Restless it ruffled its fur as you strolled into the bathroom and when you closed the door, you would swear you heard a happy purr coming out of the direction of your bed.

The water was a blissful mix of nicely warm and freshly cold and you moaned more than one time when the exhaustion and tiredness residing deep within your bones was washed away. Scrubbing the remaining dirt and sweat off with a Honey and Milk scented body wash, you reminiscent over the day. Working for the T&I department wasn’t easy, no matter what other ninjas might think. Every day you were facing highly dangerous prisoners, had to undergo physical endurance training to withstand torture or questioned suspects yourself if not working alongside Morino, who was a god at manipulating a prisoner to spill every dirty secret without the criminal even noticing. Today was a tough day, the suspects not giving in and you had to resort to read their minds what wasn’t a pleasant experience at all. The dirtier and darker a mind was, the crueler and twisted a criminal behaved, more pressure and danger would the interrogator face while entering a mindscape. And today you entered the mind of a corrupted traitor, who was under the influence of a nasty jutsu, exchanging any kindness with pure evil. Even more delicate, the guy graduated alongside you and entering his mind and finding out he used to have a crush on you during the academy times was also hard. Morino offered help, but you had declined out of… reasons.

 

“Stupid dummy,” you muttered, “you’re just too damn proud.” And you were proud. About what you did, about the results you delivered. On top of that, not every ninja was fitted to withstand such psychological pressure and your record of visits of a therapist was clean. Not even Morino had a fat zero standing there.

Your thoughts drifted further, to the weather of the following days, the state of your fridge, what you would cook tonight, what you would give to your roommate, where did your roommate belong to… The embarrassing thought from before crossed your mind and you groaned. “Goddammit… He has ninken, you stupid dummy. Ninja dogs! There’s no way he has a cat running around.”

Kakashi Hatake, famous shinobi and admired idol for many ninjas in Konohagakure. His students were the son of the fourth Hokage, the only survivor of the Uchiha-massacre and a civilian-born girl with an interesting personality. Unluckily the Sasuke Uchiha went rogue a few weeks ago and Naruto Uzumaki also left the village, not as a traitor, but as the student of Jirayia, one of the three legendary sannin. Kakashi Hatake was a great colleague, a more than capable ninja and on top of that wore a mask to add to the mystery around him… He was simply a legend. And you out of all the people had the luck to be his neighbor. Not more, not less. A faceless neighbor, even though you crushed hard on him the moment the intense onyx eyes set for the first time on your figure. The most you two did was a quick nod at each other when you crossed paths, he on a way to a new mission and you coming from another interrogation.

You squealed and buried your face in your hands. “Can you stop thinking about him? That’s so ridiculous! You’re not a teen, you’re an adult! And there will never be something between you, so calm the fuck down!”

Your loudly beating heart and the blood rushing to your cheeks told a different story. And the fact that you couldn’t open your mouth when you were close to Kakashi and were even thankful for the wordless greeting you two shared was only adding to the pitiful teenage-image you denied forcefully.

 

You sighed out. “Either way, he’s currently on a mission. So stop your stupid illusions.”

A week ago you saw him passing by with a backpack on his shoulders, obviously prepared for a longer journey on his own. He had nodded at you, you had nodded back and Kakashi was gone. And naturally you knew about the reputation and his skills, about the sharingan and the 1000 justus he copied with it and also about the countless missions he already went through successfully and nevertheless you couldn’t help yourself but to worry a tiny bit, even when it wasn’t your place. Hell, you weren’t even friends! But your heart was a rebellious little thing and so you withered in the distant fear of a masked cleaning commando suddenly emptying out the flat to your left and leaving not one speck of its former occupant behind. The same cleaning command which emptied out the flats of your parents. You also remembered clearly the empty room of your best friend Gin, walls bare and impersonal. Sadness slithered into your thoughts and tainted your mindscape, weighing you down and making every action a bit harder to bear.

A visit at the memorial stone was in order soon. You would need sunflowers and a four-leaf clover, favorite things of your mother and father and for your best friend a shiny stone was enough. Gin loved interesting stones, fitting in the palm of a single hand, with holes or a special shine embedded into the surface.

_Tomorrow_ , you thought, _tomorrow I can make some time_.

Your mind was clouded when you exited the shower, your body refreshed and clean, but thoughts soiled in weak melancholy. So the picture of the cat rolling around on the carpet, happily purring and tail wagging at the catnip captured between the strong paws hit you completely unexpected. Only cladded into a simple green towel, you bend down and watched the rascal for some seconds, then you clicked your tongue, what caused the cat to comically pause in between the movements. One of the front paws was stretched into the air, the other cradled the branch of catnip against the furry chest. The tongue was lolling out of the muzzle, though as soon as the cat glanced at you, the slick muscle vanished quickly and almost ashamed the animal looked up, eyes wide and pupils round.

You grinned widely as you stretched out your hands, which had a tight grip on an equally soft and green towel, meant for the still slightly dripping cat in front of your feet. “Now, coming to the good part.”

The cat was apparently too focused on something else. For an obscene amount of time you thought the animal stared at your legs and chest before realizing that you nearly managed to catch it. Then another strangled hiss meant to get its disagreement across and the cat left the catnip behind and was halfway under the bed again before you could even think _“Oh fuck.”_ You wouldn’t let the cat do what it wanted. Your flat, your clean standards. And the longer the wet fur remained, the longer the poor thing would shiver. Didn’t that rascal know what wet fur meant for a cat?

 

With the speed of a shinobi you chased after the animal. “Come here! I only want to dry you off!” you yelled with outstretched arms and forgetting you were only wearing a loose towel. But there was only a cat and various plants in your flat, so did your attire really matter? The chase didn’t last long, even though the cat pulled a lot of tricks to not get caged in your hands. But backed into a corner, the little rascal couldn’t escape anymore and you grinned in victory. Grabbing the middle of the lithe warm body, you raised the cat over your head.

“Oh, explains why you’re so cranky, Mister Rascal.” you teased after checking the gender. Rascal (you just decided to name the cat, there was no collar or nametag present) mewled loudly, a rather croaked sound and struggled to get out of your grip. Gently, but with enough force to keep the cat restrained, you pressed Rascal to your chest.

“Ssh, I know. I know, but if you stay wet, you’re going to get sick. And your owner –excuse me, cats only have slaves- your slave wouldn’t like the thought of you getting even crankier than you already are.”

Rascal snarled deep in his chest, but didn’t try to escape anymore, so you used the chance to quickly towel the little idiot dry. In the process you grew more and more curious. Underneath your fingers surprisingly many muscles tensed and relaxed, also there were many scars with knots and rough skin littering over Rascal and as you inspected his face, the scar crossing the right eye was almost jumping into your vision. The poor thing couldn’t even open the eye properly.

“So you’re a fighter.” you muttered. Your statement was met with a shutter rummaging through Rascal and a low grumble. “And you’re an old man, huh? With the grey fur and all that. A grumpy old man with a resting bitch-attitude.”

The cat ears twitched, before a huff, similar to an annoyed sigh rippled through the animal. Finally he gave up the useless struggle and went limb in your arms, what gave you the chance to completely dry him off. Carefully pressing Rascal between your breasts, you walked through the flat, absent-minded humming and enjoying the breeze which brought some life and air into the room.

 

Once more you squeezed the middle of Rascal, then allowed him to escape. Immediately he jumped across the room and took place at your desk, the tail wrapped around his body. The one eye followed your form as you went on with your business and prepared dinner, a miso soup and salmon, together with some grilled rice and egg. Nothing special, but apparently enough for the cat.

Only one moment. One goddamn moment where you didn’t keep a close eye on the fish, silently sizzling in the frying pan and a swift movement from Rascal, then he and the fish vanished underneath the bed and you could only stare at the empty pan, totally flabbergasted at the bold cat.

“Little rascal…” you growled and tightened the towel around your body, “Where is my fish?”

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Only some quiet gobbling sounds could be heard.

“Rascal…!” That couldn’t be… You earned that dinner! Wasn’t a horrible day at work reason enough for a nice dinner? And now even that was taken away! “Give me my fish! You stupid little-!”

Just to mock you, Rascal stuck his head out of the space where he hid himself and his dinner, threw an uninterested look at you, with the hands pushed into your hips and hair curling wildly around your head, then he showed off his tongue. You couldn’t shake off the feeling that the cat understood more than you thought.

Maybe Rascal belonged to a ninja, who taught him to listen to commands. Maybe he was a ninja-cat, young and yet not able to speak. That didn’t give Rascal the right to steal your salmon!

“Give it back! Come on,” your tone switched from angry to pleading, “I had a horrible day! Do you know what goes on in the T&I department? I had to invade the mind of three different people today, you have no idea what is going on in some heads! Perverted, twisted, terrible things, okay? I wanted this fish!”

Gobbles and slurps, then a little burp.

A groan escaped and tiredly you cupped your forehead, too exhausted to argue any longer with a cat over a fish which got devoured in the moment you spoke. “Fine,” you sighed and turned to the stove, “just clean up the rests when you’re done. Why am I even trying to argue with you?”

 

Quickly you ate the rest of your meal and when Rascal came out of his hiding spot, fur fluffy and the maw suspiciously licked clean, you only gifted the animal with a partly angry, partly amused stare.

You couldn’t shake off the feeling that Rascal was laughing internally at you, how you sat there only in a towel, bending over a plate and stuffing your cheeks with food, you rolled your eyes at your hyperactive mind.

“Stupid dummy,” you mumbled inaudible for anyone else, “and you’re a mean thief.” Agitated you pointed with your fork at the cat. Uninterested the animal cocked his head, then continued to clean itself. Licking the paws and dragging them over the ears and face, Rascal ignored you, while you sighed and shook your head.

“Seriously, I’m too stressed. Just imagine a day with a serial killer, a perverted underwear thief and a traitor who crushed at you at the academy. Then the scary Ibiki who nearly pressured me in going to a therapist, because I look,” you made quotation marks in the air, “depressed. Thankfully I could dodge that appointment, but he ordered me to make a mental health evaluation. He knows I hate those. Man, he never saw me depressed.”

Rascal ignored you.

“Just saying.” Gesturing around, you took the next bite of fried rice. “Since five years I’m working for the T&I department and I never had problems. And I’m working hard, just as hard as Ibiki. You never saw him, but he takes his work very seriously. I guess,” chuckling you scratched your cheek, “I’m kind of a workaholic, I guess?”

One bored glance, then Rascal continued his licking and cleaning with vigor.

Cats. Such arrogant bastards.

 

The hours following weren’t interesting. Just like you had planned, the evening was calm and nice, balm for you’re a bit strained nerves. Finishing your meal, you washed the dishes, slipped into your comfortable sleeping attire, then started to work your way through one of the files you brought back. Meanwhile a part of your mind was concentrated on the grey cat. Rascal went over from licking his paws clean to inspect the room further. He strolled casually around, sniffed on various things and threw suspicious looks at the plants, before jumping upwards to inspect the catnip closer.

In the last light of the day the grey fur almost glistened silvery, like the steel of a blade. Like the hair of the copy ninja.

Before the embarrassment could get the better of you, you shook your head. “You shouldn’t… think about him too much. Now you even see him in the fur of a cat! Really, get a grip on yourself and your crazy mind.”

Not even his ears twitched into your direction as you said that. Rascal was too focused on the catnip to register anything else. One more low snicker, then your attention shifted to the outside, where the clouds drifted lazily over the sky. Sometimes thunder rumbled and lightning stroked through the darkness. It didn’t seem like the rain would ease up soon.

“I have a basket somewhere, blanket and such laying around.” you said into the silence, what catched Rascal’s attention. Abruptly the cat jerked upwards and the one intense black eye was staring at you, how you sat in loose trousers and a wide shirt at your desk. “I’m going to bed and I’m telling you this because I still believe you can understand what I say, so it’s kind of a test. I’m leaving the window a tiny bit open and you’re probably thin enough to pass through. If you’re hungry tomorrow, feel free to help yourself to some fish -not that you would do otherwise- or whatever you feel like.”

 

Rascal crocked his head, sitting properly at the window ledge, then mewled shortly. Enough for you. Preparing the makeshift bed was nothing, actually the simple motions calmed you even more than the work you did seconds ago. You did something for another being, even when it was only an animal. But as you looked up from your marvelous task, Rascal already took the opportunity and stretched his small body all over the bed, yawning and balling the blanket with his front paws. Your bed. Yours.

“Oh no.” You sighed loudly, suppressing the hissy fit just in time. “Not again. Please. I prepared such a great bed for you.” You couldn’t ban the little whimper out of your voice.

As an answer the cat mewled, but then moved the tiniest bit over, making just enough space for you to sleep on your own bed. Curse your weakness for cats. Curse your weak defenses. Rascal managed to steal your fish and your bed and you, as the human couldn’t get back, because your stupid heart grew warm at the sight of the groomed animal occupying the biggest part of your sleeping place. With a soft huff you slipped under the covers, aware of the raised attention of the cat beside you. Turning on your side and closing your eyes, you listened for some seconds to the ruffling of fur over soft cushions. But the day was more exhausting than you thought and you quickly slipped into the merciful darkness.

The sudden touch of a tail tickling your nose was enough to rip out of your frail sleep. Sleepily brushing it away, you glared through squinted eyes at the damn cat and turned away, settling again down and tugging your blankets up to your nose.

_This annoying ball of fur has to vanish in the morning_ , you thought grumpily, _or else I’m going to shave this damn thick fur off._

Afterwards your sleep was undisturbed and long and when you woke up, the rain stopped and the first rays of sunlight peeked through your window. Birds chirped in the distance and the first people were busy, walking on the streets and filling the city you swore to protect with life. Also the many cats around the house were loudly mewling, screeching or simply bringing their own kind of music into the buzzling scene of Konoha in the morning. Sitting up, you noted that the cat was gone and the catnip on your windowsill seemed to miss another branch.

 

That was okay. Smiling you gently stroked over the branches of the abused plant, before filling a cup and watering all of the colorful flowers in your flat, gifting each and one of them with silent mutters and a short infusion of chakra, enough to make the plants stronger than the average greenery. A trick you learned from the Yamanaka’s in exchange for some seeds you had once brought with you back from the Land of Tea. So not even some stolen branches would soil the efforts you brought upon yourself.

Today was your free day, so you took your time getting ready. Slowly preparing some breakfast, slipping into a civilian attire, consisting of a shirt with wide sleeves covering your hands completely and some tight jeans, and mentally preparing yourself for a visit at the memorial stone. Nothing special, just an average free day.

The sun was already hitting its highest point as you calmly walked on the clearing where your destination was, in your hands once a small sunflower, a freshly-plucked four-leave clover and a stone with exactly 7 holes and you didn’t made one of them. The stone had to be special enough for Gin. But you stumbled nearly over your feet as you spotted a crouched figure in front of the dark memorial, intently staring at the letters of the fallen shinobi like he stared at your door.

Rascal. The grey-furred cat which reminded you of your neighbor Kakashi Hatake. What a coincidence seeing the animal here. Honestly, you didn’t expect to see the cat ever again, but here he was, tail twitching and fur bristling when you walked closer, step by step and carefully placing your feet to not to disturb him.

Silently you kneeled down in front of the stone, ignoring the small shadow completely. You weren’t here to fawn over something. You were here to pay your respects, to remind yourself why you were throwing yourself into the dirtiest mindscapes, to energize again and set your mind straight. The memorial stone was perfect for that. Not many people came here, only few people came regularly and when there was someone, other ninjas didn’t join a fellow shinobi in their sadness. It was an unspoken rule not to disturb anyone here.

 

You folded your hands, all the while muttering the first well-known sentences you always said when you came. “Hello mother, hello father. Hello Gin. It’s been a week again.”

Whispering about your problems and troubles, you forgot about your companion and the minutes or even hours flowing by. The whole time your hands were folded and you were kneeling, sunflower, clover and stone at the step before the actual memorial, until your knees hurt and your bones were stiff from your unmoving position.

Your voice was hoarse as you finished your report about your life. “…and can you believe I’m Ibiki’s right hand? He said so himself. Okay, not into my face, but to some others who complained why I get so much interrogation-time and such. I only accidently overheard them. Mother, I’m sure you would ask about my love-life, but nothing has changed. I’m still hopelessly crushing on the same person I already told you about. Nothing changed, so I think I will give up on him. Anyway…” you sighed and opened your eyes, “I had no chance to begin with.”

Suddenly a low hiss reminded you harshly that you weren’t alone. One eyebrow raised, one hand just wiping over your other eye to hide the little tear from anyone else, you looked at the startled cat, who made the sound in the back of his throat, dangerous and rumbling through his whole small figure.

“What’s getting your tail twisted now, huh?” you asked. “Are you some kind of over-possessive cat who owns every human whose house you use to sleep over?”

Rascal huffed and turned his head away, ears flatly pressed to his skull. Also his claws were peeking out of the paws, long and sharp, so was the fur of his back even more ruffled than yesterday. Something upset the animal, but you couldn’t figure out what it was.

“Don’t worry, if you see it that way, I will keep a window open for you, even when you steal some of my catnip every time you pass by.”

The ears were still flat, but at least the muscles relaxed noticeable as soon as you closed your mouth. You smiled one last time at Rascal, then groaned when you abruptly got to your knees which cracked loudly after spending a lot of time in an uncomfortable position. “Well,” you chuckled once more, “I guess I see you around.”

Rascal didn’t respond (not that you had imagined that) and so you turned around and walked away with a noticeable lighter heart than this morning. The cat stayed behind, not moving an inch when you threw a last glance at him and the slender figure sitting in front of the memorial stone tugged for unknown reasons at your insides. How was it possible that a mere animal managed to express such loneliness and solemn grief through a simple stance than every other human you knew?

Grief… Abruptly your mind headed for the darker corners of your mindscape, scrapping at the walls which locked your fears and insecurities away. With all of your trained self-restraint you managed to pull yourself back from the walls, but barely in the nick of time. Only a few seconds longer and you would’ve been were you had started and that wasn’t your goal for today.

 

Heading back to your apartment and thinking all the while about some daily tasks you had to fulfil to live your life like a responsible adult, you met one of your dear friends, doing the same mundane tasks you thought of. In search for an idea for your dinner which hopefully wouldn’t get stolen, your feet leaded you towards the market. Even from the distance you could hear the voices mashing together, the happy noises of a busy city and your mood lightened again, before you spotted the familiar figure. There he was, looming near a stand with fresh fruits and vegetables as you spotted him, cladded into his usual chunin uniform and a basket hanging from his arm, his brown hair pulled into the usual ponytail and hands caressing deeply in thought the scar crossing his nose.

“Hey, Iruka!” You raised your hand into a silly little wave. “School’s out, I guess?”

For a second your friend looked around, then a bright smile appeared on his face and he waved back as you stepped closer. “You guess right, (Y/N).”

“So what are you searching?”

“Some vegetables which aren’t massacred before they arrived here.” As a proof of his words, Iruka raised a salad and you winced in sympathy as you noticed the many dark and ugly brown spots littering over the once healthy green. “And this is one of the good looking ones.”

“Then this seller is off of my list.” you chuckled. Without sparing the disgruntled man another glance, you turned your back at him and waited for a second for Iruka to dispose of the disgrace of a salad, then he joined you in your slow walk over the market.

“How are the kids?” you asked and stopped to inspect a fish merchant.

The teacher laughed a bit embarrassed. “Energetic, as always. Today Konohamaru tried to undermine my lessons with the help of a thoroughly prepared trap which should’ve dropped a ball of flour on me.”

“And?”

“I send him into the school kitchen. The cooks were amused to see a child walk in, covered from head to toe in flour.”

Shaking your head in amusement, you glanced at Iruka and saw that his eyes shortly dulled over, like he was thinking of something depressing. Carefully you placed your hand at his shoulder, a short assuring touch and he flinched back into the present. “Hey. What’s wrong?” Then you nodded. It was clear like the sun hanging above your heads. “It’s about Naruto. You miss him.”

 

The teacher scratched his forehead. “Damn,” he mumbled, “Is it that obvious?”

“You were always an open book for me, Iruka.”

“It’s… I mean, three years is a long time. When he comes back, he will be sixteen or seventeen, a teen. Will he mature? Will he become an adult under the tutelage of Jirayia, one of the three sannin?” He shook his head. “In comparison, I’m only a boring academy teacher.”

“You stupid dum-dum.” Angrily you flicked his forehead what Iruka quitted with a childish _“Hey!”_ and a reassuring touch to the slightly stinging spot. “I met him and Naruto is such a goofball that he will never compare you to Jirayia. He’s his teacher, but you’re his family. His family, the first person to acknowledge him as a person. You trusted his abilities, so come down from your insecurity-horse and ask Tsunade-sama if you can send letters to him. There must be a possibility to stay in touch. And I’m quite sure Naruto already asked Jirayia the same question.”

Shaking steadily your head, you turned to the fish merchant and pointed at one of the delicious looking treats. “I will get this one and the salmon,” you gestured towards a pile of cooled and beautifully rose colored fish, “over there.”

Iruka stayed silent while you payed for your purchase, his eyes lowered and hands clenching around the handle of the empty basket. Then, as you were three steps ahead of him, he managed to capture your sleeve and stop you. “Thanks,” the brunet said quietly and the warmth brimming in his eyes was almost overbearing, “Thanks for setting my head straight.”

“Next time we meet up, buy me a drink, ‘kay?”

“Got you.”

 

You two continued your lazy stroll over the market and having a nice recipe in mind, you bought the things you needed for a nice spinach salmon lasagna. In the end you needed both of your arms to support all the ingrediences from falling to the ground. Shortly you considered to create a shadow clone, but dismissed the idea quickly. You would manage that.

Iruka’s basket was also slowly filling and just when he handed over the money to a friendly woman and received a bundle of radish, he asked a question which catched you ice cold.

“Were you at the memorial stone again?”

Hot and cold shivers wandered over your back. “Yes…?” you mumbled and acted like the display of fresh peaches caught your interest.

His voice immediately turned stern. “Was that a question or an answer?”

“An answer. Gosh Iruka, your inner teacher breaks free. Put a leash on him.”

“And who were you honoring exactly?”

“Iruka…”

“Who?”

You wouldn’t get out of this. The brunet stared fiercely at you, now in complete teacher-mode. One eyebrow was raised, arms crossed over his chest and you were sure, there was only so little hindering him from impatiently tapping his foot. So the heavy and defeated sigh rippled out of you, together with your answer which would anger Iruka for sure.

“Mother, father and Gin. Brought them some presents, talked to them… You know, the usual.”

“(Y/N).”

“I know. _I know_ ,” you repeated after a glance at him, “But it’s a habit. He was my friend.”

“You call that a friend? He left-!”

“I. Know.”

“Then why? Why are you torturing yourself?”

This conversation needed a change. “Because I’m into BDSM and me is the ‘M’ in the acronym.”

 

Iruka clicked annoyed his tongue. “That’s not a joking matter. We would never leave you over your job!”

Tiredly you shook your head, hair flailing around. You had managed to lock those memories away, but his careless words rattled and weakened your mental defenses to the point of nearly crashing those walls down in the most brutal way.

Gin wasn’t dead. He was alive and kicking in an outpost of Konoha close to the borders of the Lightning country, that was the last you heard of him. But to you, he was dead and rotting. Maybe even more rotten than your parents, who were really decaying three feet underneath the surface of the local graveyard.

“I know,” you repeated yet again, your voice pressed, “what you want to say. Goddamn, I know already. Gin is just an asshole; one of the many assholes of the world. I’m not grieving anymore about him and his decision, I’m done with that. I only honored the childhood friend he once was, the incredibly nice and accepting buddy who loved strange stones more than anything in the world.”

Not waiting for an answer, you waved a bit miffed at the brunet teacher and in the way his expression fell nearly out of his face, you knew he understood what he did. Thank god, but Iruka always managed to pick up his little mistakes very quickly. One of his many good points.

_Why can’t I just fall in love with someone as lovely as Iruka?_ you thought suddenly. He was nice, had an easy-going personality, was perceptive and was making sure that his friends were always his top priority. On top of that, he was romantic (he spilled his love for sappy things over a couple of drinks), was able to oversee the personal mistakes of a person and even when he was angry, the teacher had the unique trait of remaining his calm and tried to discuss differences out whenever he had to face troubles.

 

You sighed loudly, what caused some people on the street to throw some not-so-secretive glances at you. But your stupid heart decided stubbornly to be attached to a silver scarecrow, who was secretive, mysterious and hid his face from the entire world, even his close friends. Once you overheard Gai bragging about a quick peek at Kakashi’s features during a training session and that the silver haired jonin was shocked for a split second, before quickly dragging the mask upwards again. You could only dream about such a sight and that didn’t stop your brain from going even further than seeing more from your neighbor.

You neared your apartment. Your keys were still in the T&I rooms, therefore you bend again down to pick the lock of the front door. While getting to work, your senses went suddenly crazy. You were watched. Intently and closely, if your natural and trained instincts were right.

Briskly turning, you spotted a by now familiar slouched form sitting a few meters away, the head cocked in interest, the fur slick and shimmering in the light and the tail neatly arranged over his front paws, from time to time twitching faintly.

“Rascal,” you picked up the food and opened the door further, “you’re such a creeper.”

A hoarse mewl was your answer. It sounded a bit miffed, so you grinned widely and showed of your teeth. “Just admit it, you’re a fucking creep-creep cat. Inwardly you plan to kill every human with a well-placed throw of yourself in front of their feet, favoring spots like…” You left the door open and weren’t surprised when the cat instantly strolled after you, the scarred eye closed and silent like a shadow. “In front of the stairs to make them fall down said stairs and make them break their necks. A sneaky assassin-move.”

Another mewl, lower this time but just as adorable.

You laughed out and your heart felt lighter than before. “My god, I’m talking to a cat and the little rascal answers me too! Soon I will be a crazy cat-lady. Or what do you think?”

Rascal’s grey fur inflated. Spikes of tufts raised into the air in his obvious disgust and he snarled lowly, voicing his disagreement clearly.

 

You shrugged as you stepped in front of your doors, bend down and picked with a by now well-known motion the two thin knifes out of your pockets. “No matter what you’re disagreeing with, I disagree with your disagreement and close the case for further relaxation and a day full of books and reports. I will leave the window open for you, so you can go whenever you want, alright?”

This time Rascal purred and maybe it was your imagination, but he may or may not brushed his head against your leg as he passed by, even flicking his tail and tenderly touching the sliver of skin at your ankle which was showing due to your low shoes and maybe a bit too short pants.

Maybe it was all part of your imagination.

The rest of the day was spend calmly in your flat. You slowly worked on three of the pile of reports Ibiki gave you as homework while Rascal was mainly hanging out. Sometimes he wandered around and inspected your furniture further, checked the cushions of your couch for their softness (apparently they sucked in his opinion, if the sneeze and the low growl were an indicator), climbed onto the different bookshelves and stared intensely at the huge amount of ridiculous historical romance novels you owned (Iruka wasn’t the only sappy one in your circle) and hid himself from time to time underneath your bed or the despised sofa. Rascal was a really quiet cat and you appreciated the silent company more than anything else. Only the weak ruffle of fur ripped you sometimes out of your concentration and you would look around only to see the grey cat ogling at the catnip and inching closer whenever he thought you weren’t aware.

 

Finally, after minutes of sneaking up at the innocent and surely scared plant you reached over without looking, gently tugged a branch off and placed it at the windowsill, barely in reach for your companion. You acted like you continued to work on your reports, but in reality your senses were highly concentrated at Rascal. His tail sayashed, uncertain and a tiny bit playful, then his paws clawed into the leaves and cradled the catnip to his chest.

Then everything happened really fast. One moment, Rascal was a silent and calm cat, the next he mewled in excitement and dropped to the floor, where he rolled around frantically and almost inhaled the scent of the plant, acting like a playful kitten with a wool ball. His eye was big and round and again his tongue lolled out of his maw. The whole picture was extremely cute, so cute in fact, that you paused your work and gently smiled while watching the cat enjoying his treat.

“Look at you,” Rascal didn’t even stop, only glanced upwards, then he started to lick his chest, “you silly, silly animal.”


	2. The days in which your life gets turned inside out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rascal comes and goes as he pleases and in between his visits, you grow more and more attached to the cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not proofread or beta'd, so sorry for any mistakes which are occuring. (>.<)

The days passed quickly and Rascal became an almost daily visitor in your flat. Sometimes he would suddenly appear at the outer side of your window and stare at you until you would leave him in, sometimes he was already sitting in front of the apartment complex when you came back from your work, a shopping trip or a meet up with your friends. With the time you noticed that Rascal just had to be a ninja cat. Otherwise you couldn’t explain the unnatural awareness of danger (he seemed to have eyes at the backside of his head whenever you wanted to check if he had fleas or wounds from strolling all day outside around) or the general understanding he seemed to have. Sometimes you swore you saw him nodding whenever you complained about your workload or when you spoke about a novel you were reading. Also the sudden hostile nature of the other cats around your apartment seemed to be his influence, indicated by the small trickles of blood his claws left on your carpet one evening and the toned down scenery the next morning, allowing you to sleep a little bit longer after an insomniac night.

You grew more and more attached to the cat. Your flat wasn’t anymore a mere place to sleep and spend your lonely evenings, Rascal brought some kind of stubborn persistence life into your four walls, always doing what he wanted and making you smile more often than wrinkling your forehead in annoyance (for example when he brought a not-really dead mouse in and presented it proudly, jumping nearly out of his fur when the little thing suddenly started to flash around). You were extremely grateful for his company and you voiced it various times, what always left the cat purring and wiggling on his furry butt. Apparently that was the turning point for the animal too.

 

One late night, you were once more sprawled out on your bed and were deeply involved in the story of a civilian man who was clumsily wooed by a female ANBU, Rascal casually jumped on your bed and stretched, showing of his claws and muscles rippling underneath the grey fur, then he blinked sheepishly before giving your hands a short lick. His tongue was warm and rough, but that alien sensation wasn’t what made you look at the cat full of surprised curiosity.

It was the first time the animal showed some kind of physical affection to you, apart from the occasional chase and catching of him to check on his state. Rascal headbutted your hand again until you carefully reached out and stroked his head, massaging the slender skull until he closed his other eye and purred loudly. His whole body vibrated in the rusty tone.

“A softie,” you murmured with a little snicker, “you teasing little fuck are just a little big softie, just like me, huh?”

Rascal cricked his whole body underneath your hand, enjoying the ministrations more than the meals you had started to share with him, all the while purring and letting out adorable little mewls. You paused your petting, what made him snarl out in protest, but when you brushed your book aside and settled fully on the bed and tugged him into your lap to have full access to cuddle with the grumpy cat, Rascal crawled now fully excited between your legs and stretched out, accidently nipping your loose trousers with his sharp claws.

“If I could only satisfy Ibiki just as easily as you.” you mused and expected an extreme reaction from the cat. He always seemed a bit miffed whenever you mentioned other human males going in and out of your lives, and those were only friends and acquaintances. So you didn’t dare to talk about your huge crush on your still missing neighbor, to avoid upsetting the cat truly with the knowledge.

 

And you were right. Instantly Rascal tensed up and glared at you and to your mild surprise he also had opened his second eye. A bright red pupil stared up and seemed to pierce your very soul. You fidgeted on your bed, not able to look away from the menacing heterochromia, cold shivers running all over your body like ants making their way through your blood vessels. It was uncomfortable and you got the slight hunch Rascal was aware of the effect his unusual eye had, so he closed it after a few more seconds of empty staring and huffed loudly, what was your sign to _hurry up and worship me, human_. You quickly complied, letting the surprisingly soft fur slip through your fingers and massaging the muscles which relaxed underneath your touch and like that the striking red eye was quickly shoved into the far away back of your mind.

From there on Rascal was a constantly cuddly cat. Inside your flat, he would come over wherever you were and stroll around your legs, purring hoarsely or jump at your desk, placing his furry butt on your important reports and demanding your attention. More often than not he would lay in your lap while you were reading the newest addition to your sappy romance novels, enjoying the hand softly stroking over his back while you got captured by the sentences and words of another penny dreadful. To sum it up, inside your flat he was all over you, mewling, licking from time to time or even letting his tail swish over your face, what caused you to sneeze loudly, what the cat apparently found funny as fuck, if you interpreted the rolling around and the low purr correctly.

When you were outside, he was following and casually let his tail flick over your ankles or pressed his whole body against your leg, no matter how hot the summer in Konoha was. One time he also laid relaxed around your shoulders, his front paws secured on your collarbone and his stomach pressed against the back of your neck. With Rascal’s thick fur it was like you wore a scarf in the middle of summer, but you didn’t complain while you went through the advertisement of the market, checking the fruits on their freshness and possible brown spots. In that particular situation Iruka spotted you and your stray and he was on top of that in the company of your other friends.

“Aah,” Anko laughed and pointed at you, “I already thought you had a secret lover! Say, is this little pipsqueak at least a nice lay?”

Asuma’s eyes were transfixed on Rascal, apparently deeply entangled in his thoughts. Rascal reacted with a wide yawn and flick of his tail, which curled then protectively around your neck. Only seconds after that, the cat was sleeping (you could tell by the sudden hoarse rumble vibrating through the body, deeper than his normal breathing, but lighter than a low purr). And Kurenai was simply excited and was close to disturb Rascal, but you backed away before the other woman had the chance to stroke over his grey fur.

“Funny Anko,” you said amused, “very funny. But I know about your little purple friend underneath your bed, so I can say I have at least something alive warming my bed.”

Bickering with Anko was easy. Mix up a dirty comment with some wit and add from time to time enough sass to sprinkle an entire room in a nice sparkle, then the purple haired jonin was almost instantly your best friend and self-proclaimed wingman.

Anko broke into a roaring laughter. “Got me there,” she breathed out, “you fucking got me there, (Y/N). Hey, when do we have our next evening?”

“Next week,” Iruka answered on your part and inspected suspiciously the cat hanging off your shoulders, “But I’m more curious about your companion there.”

“Oh, you mean Rascal?” Without disturbing the cat, you shifted a bag of groceries into your other hand and flicked gently one of the silky ears. “He’s- was a stray, I guess. One day I found him in front of my apartment and kept him for one night in my flat. And then he came back. Again and again. Now I’m somehow his human.”

 

“Aah.” Still… The teacher stared once more at the cat, before Anko interrupted.

“Are you going to become a cat lady? I mean, with a bag full of scrawny cats and with dirty hair? Will you throw them at people you don’t like?” With a wide grin she jumped forward, her brown trenchcoat flattering around her generous figure and with an almost maniac glim in her eyes.

“I hope not,” you answered calmly, “otherwise my landlord would throw me out.”

“But he allows Kakashi to keep his ninken!”

At the mentioning of the familiar name your heart accelerated. You swallowed thickly. Kakashi had yet to return and the more days passed by without the male arriving or the cleaning commando emptying his flat out, the more the distant worries started to crawl out of their dirty little holes where you buried them in.

Asuma lightened a cigarette. Automatically you retreated from the smoke. He knew you hated cigarettes, so he lit them only on when you two were outside, but the wind was mostly a nasty bitch in that department. And adding to your predicament, you knew Rascal disliked the smoke too. “Kakashi works with his pack,” he mumbled around the cancer stick, “they’re like a guide dog. And he summons them only when he needs, so they aren’t constantly around, not like a pet.”

“But your cat is adorable.” Kurenai said. The female held herself like always close to Asuma, but not too close to be persistent. She was acting like a friend, but everyone in your cycle realized soon enough that she was hopelessly in love with the bearded man. Only the love interest himself wasn’t noticing anything and like this the whole group took great joy in watching the woman trying to discreetly wooing Asuma, who was blissfully unaware of every advancement towards him.

 

You started to massage the little head of Rascal, an unconscious gesture on your part. The cat didn’t react at all, sleeping deeply and without a worry in the world. “Yip. Rascal is cute. And a comfortable roommate. Except for the first evening he was until now a little gentleman.”

“How is a cat a gentleman?” Anko asked, not even trying to hide the mischievous grin on her face.

You raised one hand and counted the good qualities, every time stretching a finger out when you mentioned another. “He’s silent, he makes me laugh, most time he doesn’t interferes with my work, he mostly cares for himself in the cleanliness-department and is intelligent enough to realize he can’t open doors by scratching at the wood.”

“Oh?” Suddenly Kurenai mustered the cat very closely, her red eyes squinted. For a short moment you thought there was something sparking up, then the woman shook her head and was already smiling again before you even had the chance to question her. “And what about your _crush_?” She accentuated ‘crush’ like it was something juicy only little people knew about, but the brunette took apparently great pleasure and glee in knowing.

You felt your cheeks warming up. “Nothing,” you murmured, “he’s out on a mission.” Automatically you lowered your voice, afraid of Rascal waking up and hearing about your silly infatuation for the silver haired scarecrow. Only heaven’s would know how the easily jealous cat would react.

Anko wiggled with her eyebrows, her grin not one bit wavering. “Will you ever pursue him? I mean, how long is it now? Two years?”

You regretted deeply ever telling the girls of your friend circle about your helpless crush. Now whenever you would meet them, they would try to stick their noses into your business. Thankfully the males didn’t notice anything yet, but with the more or less sneaky remarks of Anko and Kurenai it would be only a matter of time and you were at least halfway sure that Iruka already had a distinct hunch of whom they were always speaking.

 

“Excuse us for a second.” you said resolutely, grabbed Anko and Kurenai by their shoulders and threw an apologetic look at the two men who just shrugged or waved dismissingly. Though you couldn’t miss the stir of the cat at your neck or the longing look Asuma gave the back of Kurenai when you leaded them a few steps away.

“I’m going to say this for the last time,” you began and raised your hand to stop Anko, who wanted to protest already, “Stop. That. You’re right, it has been two long years of me pining on someone who’s way over my level. I’m going to overcome this and move on. I don’t need a man to be happy, I don’t need someone. I have a great job, I have wonderful, sometimes pushy friends,” at this Kurenai chuckled, “Konoha is safe and I’m satisfied with the work I’m doing for my city and country. And now I even have a cute little pet,” Rascal chose that moment to yawn and snuggle his slender maw into the crook of your neck and you just had to smile at the action, “who spends his free time in my flat and doesn’t bother me with his crap, quite literally.”

Your purple haired friend pouted, while the other kunoichi’s eyebrows were wrinkled and drawn in thought together. Kurenai wasn’t convinced, so you added after a few more seconds of calming Rascal down: “I’m really cool with my life, okay? And if there’s a chance in love, I’m going to embrace it. Promise.”

Kurenai still wasn’t convinced, but on Anko’s face grew a sadistically grin and you shuddered when the dark premonition dawned on you, awoken by her following words.

“Alright! Man, I will have so much fun finding some guys for blind dates!”

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Until now, you pretty much managed to avoid thinking about the long period you hadn’t seen your neighbor roaming around, one of his Icha-Icha-books in his hands and sitting in the branches of a nearby tree, gleefully giggling or concentrated reading. Rascal helped a lot with that, but now, brought up by your friends into the light, you couldn’t help but to worry.

Kakashi was now since nearly four weeks gone. A long time for him. And slowly you grew anxious, more than that. Every day when you left your flat for work, your eyes would automatically flow to the door next to yours and look out for the signs of the cleaning commando. Silent steps and the rummaging of furniture dragged around. The poofing of scrolls, taking in every valuable jutsu or report they could find. Whispers, only barely hearable and muffled due to the gas masks the workers wore, in case a deceased ninja thought he needed to make a trap with poison to protect his possessions.

But everytime you looked at the door of Kakashi Hatake, there was nothing. And it innerved you extremely. It meant he was alive. But why was he taking so long?

Rascal noticed. Usually he was from morning to midday out of the house and did whatever he wanted to do, but lately he stayed even at noon at least in the close proximity of your flat, ready to snuggle close to your side and purr like a broken machine. Even your workplace got covered by the cat. Unbeknownst to Ibiki, Rascal somehow invaded with ease the bureaus of the T&I department and even you had no idea how the clever animal was doing that.

Hell, he didn’t even had thumbs!

But you were glad Rascal was there to cheer you up. Working diligently was somehow easier with his presence and even the interrogations, if now a brutal old-fashioned questioning or the invasion of a struggling mind, went smoother than before and there were less after effects or doubts swaying your own mind when the grey flanks raised underneath your hands or the low rumble vibrating through the chest was echoing through your little compartment.

Also your boss noticed.

 

“(Y/N)!”

First you were frozen, then you shushed Rascal under your desk, who somehow seemed strangely happy about climbing down and playfully nipping at your ankles, one of his little gestures of care he adopted over the time. Just in time you waved the cat off, then Ibiki walked briskly in, his black trenchcoat fluttering like a cape behind him.

“Yes Ibiki-sama?” you asked and quickly shoved the last papers for your second-last report into the according file. “How can I be of help?”

Your boss was an intimidating figure and not only because of his scars littering over his face and head. Most of them were hidden anyways by the bandana. No, Ibiki Morino was an impressing shinobi who was an expert in the _art_ of interrogating people. You admired him for getting so far and old in this era, so you always tried your hardest at work, even when you were a fresh newbie with a new chunin vest and not knowing in what hells this man would throw you.

Ibiko closed the door behind him, shutting possible listeners out. He was always on alarm and you thought sometimes to yourself that not even with a lover your boss could ease up. A sad realization, indeed. “I wanted to talk with you about your mental health evaluation.”

He waved with a few papers. Instantly your stomach dropped lower than the ground. You totally forgot about that matter. Rascal ruffled his fur against your feet and even dared to lick your ankle before backing off, not calming you this time with his teasing, but making you even more agitated.

“I don’t understand,” you said slowly, “Is there something wrong with it…?”

Ibiki grunted sharply. “No.”

“Then why is my mental health evaluation worth mentioning?”

“I was curious.”

“Because…?”

“I’m asking myself how your score can rank up without you doing any official mental health care-assignments.”

 

A weak _Oh_ flew through your head. That was the issue at hand. Flustered you fidgeted in your seat, all the while Rascal went over to tickle your toes in your open ninja sandals and you were close to snarl at the cat to _fucking stop it_ , but then there was Ibiki, who stared with his small dark eyes down at you and still waited for an answer.

“Uhm,” your voice was far higher than normal, “I don’t really did anything…?”

“Then how do you explain your raised scores?”

“I’m feeling good lately.”

Rascal used the little pause to mewl rather crookedly. Your boss flinched, but you covered it up by coughing and smiling in apology. “Sorry, just a bit of a flu. Nothing serious.” Underneath the table you gently nudged the cat. Did he want to rat you out? Rascal answered with a headbutt into your lower leg and another louder mewl.

Ibiki raised a single eyebrow. “You’re sick? And whenever you’re sick, your coughs sound like mewls?”

Sweat poured down the back of your neck and the nervousness rattling at the cell bars of your self-control was overbearing, but somehow you managed to keep your emotions under control. There was nothing to fear, your chef was a great man. Surely he wouldn’t scold you for bringing a cat to work, especially when the cat had the tendency to do what it wanted. So you gave in and brought the rather smug Rascal out from under your table. “It’s his fault,” you raised the cat into the vision of your supervisor, who hung limply from your hands and lowly purred, “I’m feeling better because of him.”

If you wouldn’t know better, you would say that Ibiki was flabbergasted at the sight of the grey cat in your hands. For moments he didn’t say one word, intently staring at the animal. Rascal was staring without a worry back. Only his right ear twitched, but more out of nonchalance than anything else. Then he yawned widely, showing of his surprisingly white teeth and red tongue.

“Sir?” Askingly you looked at Ibiki. “Is everything alright?”

 

The otherwise unmovable man seemed a bit out of his usual behavior. He seemed to silently mumble something and even your heightened ninja senses weren’t good enough to catch the weak words. There was something fishy going on here and your instincts tingled heavily as he glared once at the cat, before giving over the report card. “I don’t care how you maintain your mental health. If it’s working and doesn’t goes against the laws of Konoha, then good. Would you let me borrow this cat for a moment?”

“What?” Automatically you cradled Rascal to your chest. You wanted to protect him, he belonged to your side. “Why?”

Ibiki clicked his tongue. “I want to investigate him.” The way he said ‘investigate’ was making you tremble and tugging Rascal even closer. It didn’t sound like Ibiki would be nice and friendly, more like he got ready to interrogate Rascal like he would question one of his prisoners.

You breathed deeply in. “Can you promise me not to hurt him?”

Now it was his chance to look surprised. “Are you implying you believe I would be able to inflict damage on an animal?” Not only Ibiki sounded disbelieving, also extremely hurt as far as you could tell.

“Sorry, it was just… He’s dear to me.”

“Don’t worry,” he simply picked Rascal out of your hands, even though the cat suddenly started to struggle against the binds restraining him, “I would never hurt an animal.”

You were reassured. Ibiki Morino wouldn’t lie to you. Nevertheless your heart ached when you heard the screams and desperate snarls of your companion and so you quickly concentrated on your tasks, but that didn’t made the slight guilt creeping up better.

Ibiki wasn’t bringing Rascal back. At the end of the day you found yourself wandering up and down the path before the bureau of your superior, throwing quick looks at the barrier but too scared to actually ask for your companion.

_Come on, just knock! Ibiki isn’t a mean one!_

Swallowing the bile in your throat down, you raised your hand for the next try and just before your knuckles could meet the wood, it swung open.

“What’s the matter?” Ibiki asked and adjusted his bandana.

You fiddled with your fingers, wrung them together and released them just as fast. “Uhm… I just wanted… Where’s Rascal?”

“Who?”

Cold dread struck your insides. “My cat,” you said hectically, “the grey one. His name is Rascal and you took him with you to investigate him. I just wanted to ask where he is because he didn’t come back to me and I was a bit worried…”

Still nothing. Ibiki looked at you like you went crazy. And you were certainly short to just call it a day and just search for the furry butthole when the eyes of your boss lit up in recognition. “Aah,” he rumbled, “the _cat_ …”

“Yes, the cat.”

“Isn’t he with you?”

“Huh?”

The icy man shrugged, before turning around and locking properly the door to his office. “I released him two hours ago. If he didn’t return, I advise to look in places where he likes to be. Besides, the cat is clever enough to survive a few hours on his own. That is the result of my investigation.”

 

“Right…” Embarrassed you nibbled at your lower lip. Immediately a few places came to your mind, the memorial stone, the special bookstore at the main street with the bright and colorful display of Icha-Icha-novels, the graveyard, a special tree with a great fork to sit in… Rascal was in the end a free mind and not a constantly clingy cat. Sure, he loved to cuddle and to get spoiled, but there were also times when Rascal did his own thing and roamed around the city without worrying much.

You bowed shortly before the man. “Thank you, Ibiki-sama. Tomorrow I will surely finish the last bits of the report I should control.”

“Good. Thanks for the hard work.”

It was the perfect time to ask something else; something which spooked you for some days now. Ibiki knew things; he just seemed to know about everything going on inside and even outside the village of Konoha, regarding all the ninja gossip and talks about recent missions. As an interrogation specialist and familiar with information gathering, your boss could be seen as a spider, webbing all day his nets and collecting intel about each and every inhabitant. A scary thought.

You quickly shoved the pictures of a spider’s body with Ibiki’s head on it away and asked the question which burned a hole into your resolve to _don’t stick your nose into other people’s business_.

“Ibiki-sama… Do you know possibly about the mission the Hatake-san was sent to?” Your voice was trembling only the tiniest bit and you were proud about your high self-control, but when Ibiki faced you, shoulders stiff and a just as stiff expression on his face, the resolve disintegrated like ice cream under the summer sun.

An incredibly cold glare was send your way. “Why do you want to know about the mission?”

“I-I was just asking myself Sir… Hatake-san didn’t return until now and the cleaning command wasn’t there, so I assume he’s alive, but I…” You exhaled deeply. “I’m… actually worried for him. I would like to know if he’s fine or back in the village or if we have anything regarding his position or state. I would appreciate every little snippet of information you’re allowed to give me-!”

“The only thing,” Ibiki interrupted you,” the absolute only thing you need to know is that he’s alive. Everything else is classified and above your clearance level, (L/N).”

At least a little bit. Something similar to relief spread in your stomach and you actually dared to smile at your superior, who looked a bit flabbergasted at your happy face. “Thank you very much, Ibiki-sama. I know it was a bold request, but I’m glad my neighbor isn’t… Well, I don’t want to jinx it, right?”

“Right.”

“Again, thanks for the assurance. I’m off then, except there’s something I can do…?”

Ibiki shook tiredly his head. “No. Go home, you worked hard enough. And good work on Masamune. His mind isn’t an easy landscape to move in.”

You blushed a little bit. “Thanks,” you mumbled once more and felt how you’re whole head turned a ridiculous tomato-red, “and have a nice evening.”

You had after all a cat to find.

 

First place where you went was the bookstore. A long queue formed and lots of people whispered about a new romance novel coming out, but nowhere to be seen was a grey cat with a scarred eye. Usually with such an announcement Rascal would be one of the first to camp and stare at the colorful display, but as you let your eyes wander, he wasn’t there.

Next place was the graveyard. The sky was colored into a beautiful orange and red tone, only little clouds were hindering you from watching the sun going down and sinking on the horizon and every other time you would’ve enjoyed the sight, but now…

You only wanted to find Rascal. And the cat wasn’t here, so as soon as you noticed that, you swiftly turned around and left the long dead people behind.

Like that every other place was taken care off and when you didn’t even find him at the memorial stone where Rascal spend a lot of the time when he wasn’t in your flat, your worry turned into real fear. Where was he? Was the cat fine? What if a dog had attacked him? Rascal looked like he could scratch and hit pretty hard, but if a real big dog would jump at him (like a mastiff…) even the fight-proven cat would have a hard time. Or what if he got hurt somehow and laid in a dark alley, with broken bones and helpless?

Your stomach hurt from all the nightmarish pictures. The way back to your flat, you nibbled at the inner side of your cheek until you tasted blood, but even then you didn’t stop to gnaw on the sensitive flesh. While climbing up the stairs, you tried to shove away those terrible fantasies and when you opened the door to your flat, you already made a plan for this evening, consisting of a quick and sparse meal and the next search longer search through the streets of Konoha, though…

Rascal laid curled up in the middle of your bed. His body and tail formed a crescent shape, the ears twitching in his dreams. He was so cute your heart jumped. One look at the opened window and you understood how he got in. As you closed the door, the one black eye opened and with a crocked mewl Rascal stretched first, before jumping towards you and rubbing his head full of affection to your leg, all the while purring louder than thunder rolling in the distance.

“You stupid idiot,” you mumbled and bend down to rub the special spot under his chin, “do you know I was worried when you didn’t come back from your meeting with Ibiki?”

Rascal mewled an apology, at least you thought he did.

“Excuses, excuses,” you scoffed, “I searched around town for you. My feet hurt and I’m smelling. This heat and humidity is killing me one day.”

The cat sniffed the air and when he squinted his eye and sneezed cutely, you just had to break into a low laugh. “I know, I know. How about I’m going for a shower and you go back to sleep? I would ask you to prepare some dinner, but there’s the problem with your paws… They’re just not useful in the kitchen.”

He tried to protest by howling a tiny bit and tried to nose your ankle, but you laughed and waved his advances off. “I’m just glad you’re fine.” One more stroke over Rascal’s back, then you vanished in the bathroom to wash off the sweat and dirt from a long tiring work day and a long walk afterwards.

 

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Time went on and the days mashed into each other, each and every one of them filled with the presence of the grey cat Rascal, who had such a huge impact on your life without even doing anything. He was just there, kept being cuddly and compliant, searched for contact whenever he could and would try to sneak into your bed and under the covers, but that was apparently everything you needed. One day, you laid on your back in said bed, reading the newest addition to the romance novels about ANBU’s you digged, Rascal showed how much of a rascal he could be and you could only giggle helplessly at his attics.

This time the female lead was an enemy shinobi who got captured by the male lead. Just when a very promising interrogation scene was about to start, you felt movement at your side. One look at the grey cat, who intently stared at your face and you snorted, but returned quickly to the words in front of you. It was just too juicy to get sidetracked.

Rascal headbutted your ribs and mewled demanding, though you shortly stroked over his head and continued to ignore him.

Apparently Rascal didn’t like to be ignored (maybe you had spoiled him over the last weeks a bit in that department…). So he jumped on your stomach, not caring about the small groan you let out at the weight he put on your previously filled middle and mewled again, his one eye big and round.

“Not now,” you mumbled and turned a page, “He just handcuffed her.”

A curious paw edged forward, over the bows of your ribs and tickling you with the careful motions. Not really convenient while reading a smutty penny dreadful and a sinful scene was about to start.

You tried to gently shove Rascal off. “I said not now. Wait a few minutes.”

But the cat boldly ignored your need for an undisturbed time alone to satisfy some lesser urges and kept on crawling upwards. By now the paws were scratching the underside of your breasts, barely letting you feel the sharp claws through the thin fabric of your sleeping shirt. You didn’t know why, but at the feeling a shiver from deep down in your lower stomach came to life and shoot upwards, over your back and into your whole system. Goose bumps peppered over your forearms and legs, tickles like hundreds of ants wandered right beneath your skin, up your spinal cord and right into your skull.

 _When was the last time?_ you asked yourself in the back of your head when the good feelings intensified, _I believe some months ago… Yes, months._

 

No reason to get mildly aroused from the touches of an innocent cat. Flustered, you pushed Rascal away, what the cat quitted with a scandalized huff. “No,” the word sounded hollow, “get away. Bad kitty.”

Rascal stilled. You didn’t know what let him pause in his attempts to annoy you, but you were grateful. So you continued to read your book, feeling only a little bit guilty over the harsher tone you had used.

Ten heavenly seconds Rascal left you alone. Ten seconds, then he had overcome his shock or whatever catched him cold. He nosed your hand and when you lowered your book, he suddenly jumped straight on your chest. Both of his front paws lodged themselves safely on one of your breasts and just when you wanted to shove the cat off all the while growling full of righteous incredulity at the grey fur ball, Rascal started to balance his weight out.

He balled your breasts. There was no other way to put it. He didn’t use his claws, but the way how the cat pushed and prodded your bosom, the tail cricking and twitching in his far too obvious happiness couldn’t be otherwise described.

You opened your mouth only to find your tongue tied, so you closed it abruptly again, not knowing what to say or to do in that situation. What were you actually supposed to do when a cat fondled your breasts and a certain heat pooled deep in your stomach? (Certainly the mix between the ministration and the arousing contents of your book were at fault.)

Rascal was a little mischievous fuck. His one open eye blinked innocently and he mewled lowly, not stopping one bit the balling and caressing. 

Then he abruptly stilled, a really uncomfortable expression on his features. A wrinkled nose, squinted eye and every muscle strained to the point of hardening painfully.

“Oh fuck…” You knew the signs.

 

Rascal sneezed. Not one of his cute little sneezes. It was one of the loudest you ever heard, with a bit of retching and rasping mixed into it and the lump of spittle, cat hair and unidentifiable liquids which landed on your neck send you screeching at the weird feeling of something soft, gooey and slimy dripping down your chest and under your clothes.

“Fucking Hell! Dogshit, fuck!” Random curses spilled from your lips, nevertheless a helpless smile tugged at the corners of your mouth. The smell emitting from the “accident” was sickening, Rascal looked guilty and had lowered his head in shame and you shouldn’t be that happy in the face of such a ball of smile on your chest area, but…

You were. As strange as it sounded, you were happy. Not ‘happy beyond imagination’ or ‘happy no matter what’, but it was a gentle warm emotion; one you didn’t want to miss in your life, however for far too long you didn’t even realize it was missing.

Rascal was still ashamed and hid by now his maw in the blankets, paws covered his ears like he wanted to avoid even hearing a thorough scolding. Stepping closer, you cradled the warm lithe body to your chest and buried your nose in his side. “You teasing dirty butthole,” you choked out during two waves of laughter, “first sexually harassing, then unloading a nasty ball of goo on me! What is going on inside your strange brain?”

Rascal grumbled. You felt the vibrations running through him like you were the one sulking and when he nosed your cheek as an apology, you couldn’t help but to nose his side in return again. “What do you say?” you asked and watched how the cat looked with a wide eye at you, “First I should wash off your sneeze slime. And I bought some of the mackerels again you like so much, so what do you think? Some grilled mackerels as dinner today?”

Your friends were right. Slowly you were turning into a cat lady, but you couldn’t really bring yourself to care much.

 

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Another week went by and there was still no sign of Kakashi. The worries, calmed by Ibiki’s words awakened with more force once more and one morning you suddenly found yourself in front of the Hokage office, raising your hand and not knowing what exactly you wanted to achieve here, but then you heard the voices of your Hokage and your superior, mixing together in a weak discussion.

_It’s not nice to eavesdrop._

_Nice doesn’t get me anywhere, so shut the fuck up._

Cringing you leaned closer and held your breath, all the while trying to catch the words which were exchanged.

“…have no idea how to solve this.” Tsunade just said.

“Me neither.”

“I have never seen such a jutsu before.”

“Actually I would like to research it. A lot of problems could be solved within our prisons when we would know how to do-!”

Tsunade clicked her tongue. “No. I would approve of a thorough research to avoid any other incidents like this, but I will never allow that jutsu to be used in my village. We don’t know the after effects.”

“As you wish, Hokage-sama.” Ibiki said with a little sigh swaying in his voice, but you were pretty sure the legendary sannin couldn’t hear it. Only little people knew enough about Morino to actually hear something in his voice and you were now working since the start of your chunin career for him.

“Good,” Tsunade’s chair screeched over the ground, “I will search in the library of my grandfather if he ever encountered something similar. You will do everything in your power to find the rogue nin who did it and interrogate him. We need Hatake.”

You shoot up, heart pounding awfully loud in panic. Kakashi was under the influence of a jutsu, of a possible dangerous one on top of that? The fear churned into a tight stone, weighing you down with the possibilities of what could have happened. You knew how many times he was in the hospital after a mission, he had a terrible reputation in that department and you couldn’t miss the times Gai came over to water the plants in the flat (he always used the chance to challenge himself how fast he could do the chores) because the green-cladded shinobi was extremely skilled, but also incredibly loud.

You totally weren’t on edge when someone moved in the flat beside yours. Totally not.

 

Captured in your thoughts, you didn’t notice how the steps inside the office leaded them towards the door, where you were still leaning against the abused wood. The door got ripped open and you found yourself face to chest with Tsunade, who was obviously not amused to see a shinobi suddenly fall forward into her generous bosom.

“One word,” she hissed lowly, “about this to anyone and I will make sure to send you to the most miserable outpost we have available. Understood?”

“Yes Hokage-sama.” Embarrassed you straightened and your face went even redder when Ibiki peeked over the shoulder of Tsunade.

“(L/N)-san? What are you doing here?”

“Uhm…” Your head was painfully empty. Why again where you here? You didn’t know. “It was just… I guess… Uhm…”

“Spit it out!” the blonde barked. “I don’t have time all day and there’s a meeting with the old fa-! With the council I have to attend, so hurry up and stop the stuttering!”

Until now you hadn’t much to do with the previously appointed hokage, so this was the first time you spoke with her. And she was scary.

You swallowed the panic down and tried to focus. “I’m sorry Hokage-sama. I… Uhm… I’m the neighbor of Hatake-san and actually I’m a little bit worried for him, after all it’s been a bit over a month and he didn’t return. Ibiki-sama already knows because I asked him about the state of Hatake-san, but now another week went by and I accidently overheard you two talking-!”

Ibiki dared to chuckle at this point of your stammered explanation. “Accidently, huh?”

“So I only wanted to ask about the state of Hatake-san, if you don’t mind.” you ended, more mumbling than actually speaking. God, this was ridiculous. You could make loudly dirty jokes in full bars, you could enter the minds of criminals without a second thought, you saw your fair share of horrible wounds, broken bones and far worse, but you weren’t able to speak clearly when your feelings were involved.

 

Tsunade mustered you for unbearable long moments with hawk eyes. Then, surprisingly a grin grew on her lips. “Is she the one who…?” she asked towards Ibiki, who also wore an almost not noticeable grin.

“Yes. Yes, she is.”

“And she isn’t aware?”

“Not one bit.”

“What I’m not aware off?” you brought in, but they ignored you.

“That’s exactly why we need him. If he would keep being stuck, then there would be nothing I could laugh about all day. He pulls the best stunts.”

“ _What are you talking about?”_

Mildly surprised your two superiors turned to you after the sharp hiss you let out. “My,” Tsunade laughed, “the cat shows her claws. Don’t worry, Hatake is fine despite the situation he’s in. And I’m fairly certain he even enjoys the vacation that comes along, together with the… advantages his position has currently.” She snickered again and you were so close to strangle the female. (Because you couldn’t shake off the feeling she was making fun of you.) But you kept your cool, nodded without another word, bowed your head once at Tsunade, once at Ibiki and walked a bit fuming in anger home, not trying to think about the humiliation or a captured Kakashi. But they said he was fine and it sounded like they had contact to him recently, right? And what meant: _She isn’t aware?_

And then it hit you with the might of an earth-jutsu. Not the heavenly realization what your superiors meant with their mystical remarks, no. But that your harmless little crush you had developed on the silver scarecrow turned somewhere along the way into more, blossomed into more than you would’ve ever dreamed about, _that_ let you audibly gasp and pause in the middle of the street.

Like an answer, your heart jumped in your chest. For so long you had tried to tell yourself that it was only a mere crush to the silver haired jonin who let you act like that, but it was in fact… real…

 

You grimaced. The damn mighty L-word. But no matter what, Kakashi Hatake the copy-ninja wouldn’t answer your feelings, because he was who he was. Confident, mysterious and a lot of women actually swooned over him, trying to get a tiny peek at the enigma underneath the mask. He was skilled and jonin, while you were also skilled, but not in battle. The last time you actively participated in a mission was a simple escort to Sunagakure, nothing big or important. Not even one fight along the way, what was in fact a good thing, but now… You felt like you couldn’t prove your true worth back then.

 _Okay, that’s it,_ you thought, _tomorrow I will put myself back on the active rooster. Actually I can use the extra money coming along too and Ibiki can manage a few months without me. It’s not like I’m the only capable around the T &I department._

Though that wouldn’t solve the problem of your hindering feelings. You sighed out while fiddling with the keys to your flat. “So my original resolve of trying to keep him out of my head stays the same…” you murmured to yourself. Then you raised your head and looked around, hoping to see Rascal doing something silly.

And he did, but you weren’t that amused.

“Rascal! Out there, now!” Agitated you stomped over to your dresser, where one of the highest drawers were opened, of all things the one with your underwear. And in the middle of all with one of your bras wearing as a cap was Rascal, who had his nose deeply stuffed into one of your richer undergarments and sniffed, the tail twitching interested around. Like a banner the grey tail stood up, almost ridiculous when you really thought about it.

At your words, Rascal raised his head who was still confined by your panties and bra. Luckily he had chosen a fitting set, so the colors weren’t interfering with each other. A warm welcome-mewl escaped him, but agitated as you were, you ignored it. Instead of greeting the animal like you used to do (Rascal would jump into your arms and you would return the cuddles with just as much vigor) you stepped aside and only tugged the cat out of the drawer. After that, closing the drawer was only just a small hand movement.

 

Rascal looked lost. His ears and tail hung low and the eye which blinked out of the (f/c)-colored fabric begged for a little bit of attention.

_You can’t allow him everything._

_But just look at him! He’s lonely!_

A weak and somehow asking mewl tugged at your heart. But you had to stand your ground, even when Rascal was beforehand a stray and not accustomed to a house or such, he couldn’t just search through your drawers, no matter how intelligent he was!

“No,” you growled and stomped in a wide circle around the dresser, all the while shedding your clothes for a shower, “no cuddling today. Looking through my things is bad. Understood?”

_Yes. Stay strong. Stand your ground. Don’t give in._

_He’s a cat! Even though he has some kind of higher intelligence, he’s in the end only an animal!_

Standing only in your fishnet shirt and pants in the middle of the room, you pushed your hands into your hips and started to scold the cat, who guiltily struggled out of the undergarments and licked his maw. “You overstepped your boundaries! I wasn’t angry when you accidently knocked over one of my plants! I wasn’t overly angry when you stole my dinner! But this, rummaging through my underwear…” Speechless you shook your head. “I never thought you would stoop that low.”

Hastily Rascal jumped down and strolled around your legs. He was obviously ashamed, you could tell in the way how he desperately purred, like he wanted to sooth the storm before it could even start. Also he rubbed his body against your calves, tried to get a positive reaction out of you, though you were strong enough and resisted his furry charm. Wagging your finger, you continued to scold Rascal and with every word the animal shrunk a little bit more. “Do you know how many times I swallowed my anger because of you? I still have nightmares about mice flooding my flat! But I didn’t say anything, because I understand everybody makes mistakes, even experienced aged cats who should distinguish a dead mouse from an alive one. But _this_ …” You pointed at the dresser. “This is an insult. You did this on purpose.”

 

Rascal tried to get something in, but you continued over his little mewls and hisses. “You did this on purpose! What were you even trying to achieve, huh? Do you wanted to make a nest out of my worn underwear? Are you that much of a pervert that you just had to sniff on them?” With a low sigh you straightened and brushed off the despaired advances of Rascal, who made by now cute little squeals to gain your attention. “I’m going for a shower and afterwards I will prepare a bed for you.”

That paralyzed your companion and shut him up. Until today, you always let him sleep in your bed, just because he rejected to abandon one of the softest surfaces in your flat and flatly ignored all the struggles you went through to get him used to a different sleeping place. Another compromise you made for the sake of peace and another chance where Rascal proved to be more hard-headed than you. A mistake and you were down to correct that immediately.

Apparently unfazed, you walked into the bathroom and loudly locked the door, before leaning against the barrier and sliding slowly down to the cold ground, burrowing your face in your palms.

“Fuuuuuuck…” you groaned weakly and hit rhythmically with the back of your head against the door, “I don’t like this. I really _really_ don’t like this…”

There were so many things going on. The whole jinxed situation with your feelings revolving around Kakashi, the riddle in Tsunade’s and Ibiki’s words, your resolve to become a bit more active in the mission rooster, Rascal doing what he wanted… A nice warm shower would only ease the confusion, but you would take what you could get. So you propped yourself with a lot of effort up and stripped the remaining clothes down. Only as you stood under the blessing warm rain of your shower and rolled your shoulder until the joints popped loudly, a tension in your muscles lessened which you didn’t knew that it was there.

 

The easiest problem to solve was Rascal’s overstepping of your boundaries. Actually you already had an idea how to punish the cat for his misbehavior…

Quickly you finished your washing and stepped like any other evening out into your single big room, wrapped into a morning coat and the hair tugged away underneath a towel. Rascal was waiting on the kitchen counter, eagerly wandering up and down and jumping immediately into your direction when you walked into the kitchen, mewling that it would soften even the hardest of hearts. But not yours, not tonight. Even when it took all of your willpower, you brushed past the cat and opened unfazed the freezer, tugging out a package of vegetables, not even flinching as Rascal started to purr softly.

It was hard. You were so used to constantly caress the cat, to cuddle and let him stroll around your legs, to give in to his pitiful begging eyes and let him sit on the kitchen counter while you cooked, that it seemed unrealistic as you blandly avoided his advances and went on with your business like nothing happened.

Rascal’s mewls grew weaker until they stopped completely. His fur ruffled silently as he moved farther away and your heart bleed internally when you threw a quick glance at him and saw how down beaten he looked, his whole form slouched together and paws dragging over the ground. Abruptly Rascal turned his head and caught you staring, so you changed your sympathetic expression to a neutral-cold one.

The cat mewled a question, head cocked to the side and only looking the tiniest bit hopeful, so you only raised an eyebrow and started to prepare dinner, not making a joke or a wise remark like you would usually do, but pressing your lips together to stop yourself from doing so.

He needed to learn his lesson. He wasn’t allowed to do what he wanted, that wasn’t the right way to live in one flat and by now he was living in your home, so Rascal had to play after your rules and not be a little… rascal.

The evening went on and you played the part of a cold-hearted witch with excellence. Ignoring the grey cat was rather easy after some time, but there were moments, for example when he again tried to catch your attention with a little mewl or a low purr or looked full of uncertain hope into your face, where you had to catch yourself from breaking out of your role.

 

Silently you ate your dinner and only absent-mindedly separated some fish for Rascal on a different plate. Indifferent to his again increasing advances you placed the plate on the ground and raised your legs, so he had no chance to ruffle his fur against your naked skin. You feared you would immediately break down if Rascal got the chance to sneak up.

Then you got ready for bed, locking again the bathroom door before the cat could invade the little private space for today. Automatically you went through the well-known steps, brushing your teeth, inspecting your face for some wrinkles or any other signs of age and changing into your sleeping attire. Nothing out of ordinary, nevertheless as you exited the bathroom and saw that Rascal laid curled up on the couch, his back turned to you and his ears turning into your direction as you stepped closer, you couldn’t restrain yourself any longer.

“Come here,” gently you raised him of the uncomfortable cushions and pressed Rascal to your chest, “I’m done with being grumpy.”

He was still uncertain. You just knew, there was the overall tension in his form, the stiffness of his muscles and the asking throaty sound coming from the cat, all of it making clear Rascal didn’t trust your reawakened kindness.

“Sorry,” you mumbled embarrassed into the thick fur, “today was… nerve-wrecking. I shouldn’t have let it out on something this insignificantly. But promise me not to sniff on my underwear again. Do you know how tiring it is to pluck all the cat hair out of the fabric?”

A low rumble deep in his chest.

You nodded while releasing Rascal on the bed and allowed him to settle down on the left side. “Yip. On top of that I don’t see your hair every now and then and when I move suddenly, there’s one strand which peeks into my armpit or my back or any other sensitive areas.” You shed the open bathrobe on the floor and crawled under the blankets. “I’m really sorry, okay?”

 

Rascal looked at you with his deep black eye, then he opened the other for a split second. You stood your ground against the strange blood red iris, even though a cold shiver again wandered up and down your back, tingled in your nerve system until you shuddered violently.

Apparently you passed the unspoken test, because Rascal huffed loudly and flicked his tail, then lowered his head on his front paws, both eyes peacefully closed and already breathing deeper than usual. One last caress over his head and you were also ready to sleep.

Deep in the night and only half awake, the full moon shone through the glass and illuminated the plants on the windowsill, you felt how the cat sniffed at your neck and tried to snuggle his maw into your neck. The whiskers tickled at your collarbone and chin.

Grumping you turned around and tugged the cat closer, not caring about the hoarse surprised hiss he let out.

“Just keep quiet.” you whispered while cradling the slender body to your chest. Your eyes were stubbornly closed, hoping you could fall back to sleep fast. “You’re warm.”

Rascal hesitated, then he started to purr silently and despite how many times you already heard the low sound of his affection, this time it warmed your heart the most. You didn’t know why and you also didn’t care. With a light smile you nosed his head before drifting off into sleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad this fanfiction was well received. Thanks for the kudos and comments! You're awesome!   
> And I decided to post the next chapter a little bit earlier (I probably have no time tomorrow and don't think I could've found a pause to post it) so here it is!  
> Enjoy! (^-^)


	3. The hours where you get hurt, comforted and surprised

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapters tells the story of Anko's very short career as a matchmaker and how silent hugs can cure hurtful words.

“Up for a blind date?”

You spat out the sip of your cold sake at Anko’s words. “What?” you coughed, “What do you want?”

The purple-haired woman grinned full of glee. “I asked, missus cat lady, if you were up for a blind date. Remember? To cheer you up, to let you forget about your longtime crush on a certain scarecrow?”

“Oh. Yeah… That…”

Kurenai giggled. Her cheeks were flushed from the alcohol and she had to lean on Asuma, who had his head lowered to the table to cool off his also heated skin on the colder wood. “Don’t ya leave her hangin’, ‘kay? He’s suuuuuuch a sweetheart!” Her words were slurred and once more she giggled, what caused you also to smile a bit. “I saw ‘im and he’s quite a loo-ker. Promise ya go (Y/N). Promise!”

The night out with your friends had started like any other time. You had left a window open for Rascal, even though the cat stared at one of your historical romances which you left on your bed with clear interest (and you were sure you would find him and the book somehow hurdled up in the bed and the cat trying to turn the pages with his soft paws). Dressing up wasn’t your thing, so you had just left your chunin vest at home and replaced it with a regular hoodie. Otherwise you were dressed like always, the same regular ninja pants and sandals, not even some accessory. The night was fresh, but inside the bar it was almost unbearable warm, filled with other ninjas who searched for a good time with friends or some nice buzzed hours or also a good lay in their reigns.

The barkeeper knew your group and like this he had kept your usual table unoccupied. The first and second round of drinks were quickly gone and Iruka, who was a lightweight already started to nod off. By now he was sitting in the corner of the booth, drool spilling out of the corners of his mouth and head hanging low, mumbling from time to time something in his sleep. Gently you reached over and wiped with a napkin the spittle away before turning again to Anko, who seemed pretty sober for someone who downed three vodka shots like they were water. Only her eyes were sparkling in another glim than usual, but that didn’t stop the crazy woman from ordering another drink whenever her glass was empty. (Her glass was nearly constantly drained.)

 

“So?” she asked while raising the clear liquid to her lips once more, “Interested in some fun?”

“How do you would describe your definition of fun?”

“I don’t know (Y/N). Maybe you should spell out your definition for me.”

“…” Grimacing you lowered your own drink to the table. You had wanted to buy time with that question, but unluckily your friend saw right through you. Usually Anko would’ve jumped at the opportunity to say something dirty, though she returned instantly a question back at you.

Anko laughed when she saw your expression. “I knew it! No honestly,” she leaned closer, “You want to get Hatake out of your head? I found the perfect candidate for that.”

You sighed out. “I really appreciate your efforts, but-!”

“He’s an ordinary chunin, but nice. Good-looking too. He loves animals, books, takes walks in the park…” She wrinkled her nose. “I mean, when I think about it, he sounds so fucking _plain_ …”

“Plain is good,” you answered without thinking much, “Plain is totally fine with me. Good, I will go to your blind date. Can’t let your efforts go to waste, right?”

“Yeah! That’s the spirit!” Kurenai only followed half of the conversation, the other half had been spend with stroking softly over Asuma’s gruff beard, but when she perked up, the brunette was instantly hyped. “Can I dress you up? Please, let me do it!”

“Thanks for the offer, but I don’t want to…” Scare the poor guy? Impress him? What was the right term to use to nicely decline Kurenai’s offer? “I don’t want to look like a try-hard, you know? Your choices in clothing are great but,” you breathed in as you saw the crestfallen look in her eyes, “it’s kind of not… me.”

“Oh. Yes, I think I understand…” Then she suddenly went pale and clutched to her belly like her life was on the line. “Oh god, my stomach…” she groaned and hurriedly scrambled out of her seat. Thankfully the special-jonin wouldn’t remember your rejection or the bending over a dirty toilet-seat the next day, so you were good.

 

Nevertheless you were nervous for the next days, especially when Anko entered your bureau in the T&I department and told you with a playful wink: “The blind date is scheduled for tomorrow evening. Drag some of your nicest clothing out, girl, ‘cause you’re going to get laid!”

Rascal, who rested until then at the windowsill, perked up, but you ignored him. Absent-minded you looked over another report, then glanced at your friend. Anko was excited beyond measures, the sleeves of her trenchcoat were rolled up due to the heat reigning outside and she was nearly dancing around in her happiness. Obviously your purple-haired friend was glad to be of any help, because despite her harsh nature, Anko cared a lot for the ones close to her and somehow you managed to become one.

You laughed shyly and scratched the back of your neck. “I don’t think it will get this far, but I’ll make sure to dress up, okay? By the way, what’s his name?”

In your back Rascal hissed sharply. Turning around in your chair, you could only watch his backside and the inflated fur standing crazily upwards. Was he…? No.

“Atta girl! Go and have some fun with Akito, and the kind of fun I would approve of! He will wait in front of the restaurant _To the grinning pig_ at 1900, so be punctual!” Anko swayed out of your bureau with a special seductive swing in her step and nervously you looked after her. She turned right, into the direction of Ibiki’s rooms. Were those two…?

Again you shook your head, a bit laughing at your silly imaginations. “And even when,” you mumbled, “it’s not your place to judge them.”

Dressing-up. One of the best things about your job was that you didn’t have to. The criminals would only be encouraged to make sexist comments if you would dare to come near them in a skirt or short pants, so you didn’t bother with it. Otherwise you also saw no need to make yourself look better. Though that hadn’t stopped you sometimes to purchase some nicer clothes than your ninja uniform, a few pieces of clothing which were brighter and a bit more playful.

 

Now they would come in handy. Whistling a little bit, you went on with your day and you didn’t notice how Rascal grew more and more restless, even quarrelsome. It escalated the next day, two hours before you would meet up with Akito, your blind date.

You just rummaged through your dresser and tried to select one of the special pieces of clothing as the cat strolled close and hissed at the sight of a low cutted top. One look and you lowered slowly the top into the drawer, a bit flabbergasted at the sheer annoyance the grey animal displayed.

“What’s gotten your tail in a twist, huh?” you asked and tried to tug gently at one of his ears, but Rascal avoided your hand and hissed again, baring his teeth.

“Woah.” Surprised you backed away and raised your hands in a defensive stance. “It’s okay. Man, you’re cranky today.”

The low rumble vibrating through him and even through the furniture he sat on was the strongest and meanest you ever heard of the cat. It wasn’t just a hiss or a complaint, it was a real growl, sharp, menacing and dangerous. And it didn’t just stop there.

You just prepared some grilled eggplant (you didn’t question the favorite food of the cat anymore; it was useless) when you watched out of the corner of your eyes how Rascal played again with the catnip. But he wasn’t careful like he usually was, almost angrily he bit into a branch and bawled the sensitive leaves with a strained frustration you only experienced at humans, never on animals. Then, with a careless flick of his strong tail, he graced the pot with your bright red desert flower and with a sudden shock flashing through your veins you watched how the pot jiggled, dangerously close to the end of the windowsill.

Dangerously close to an ungraceful end on your carpet. Destroying all the hard work and hours of chakra infusions with one angry motion. Gritting your teeth, you speed over and stopped the flower just in the nick of time from falling down.

“What the fuck!?” you shouted as you recovered a bit from the shock. Angrily you glared at Rascal, who seemed just as shocked as you, but with a sliver of mischievous fun mixed into the fear. “Why are you doing this? We talked about boundaries before and you should remember what happened then. If you can’t live with a social life of mine, then you can go!”

 

The threat vibrated through the air like a distantly rolling thunder. You didn’t even mean to say it, it slipped out, more of a distant thought in the back of your head, but somehow it was the first thing which tumbled out of your mouth. Rascal didn’t take it well.

First the cat wasn’t even realizing what she just said. One ear twitched and he cocked his head, then the realization dawned upon him. The following hiss was short and sharp, then he threw a last miffed glare at you and flounced away, away from the window and away from your presence.

“What is your problem…?” You clicked your tongue in badly hidden annoyance. Then you sighed out, suddenly feeling very tired and certainly not ready for a blind date. “What am I doing wrong…?”

At that Rascal turned around and there was sympathy in his eyes when he spotted you, how you held the desert flower in place, with the other hand you just rubbed over your wrinkled forehead. But he was a proud cat and like that he huffed and scrambled underneath your bed. The last thing you saw of him was the grey tail swishing and a glow of red in the shadows.

Hesitation filled you. Why? You didn’t know. It was just… Everything. The abrupt blind date, the uncertainty coming along (Would he like you? Would he be as kind as Anko promised?) and now the mood swings of the one companion you thought you could trust the most. Rascal was by now an important instance in your life and seeing him that much disapproving of meeting up with a man was discouraging, to be honest. When even a cat was against a date, what would the male involved in this think?

Before any nasty words or even worse tears could escape, you manned up and sniveled only, before shaking your head angrily.

 

“Fine,” you hissed at the darkness under your bed, “then not. Do what you want to do, I don’t care!” Quickly you changed into your chosen outfit, a normal tight jeans and a blouse with a top underneath, but everything accentuated all the right places of your trained shinobi body. It looked nice, not like you desperately wanted to impress somebody or that you were hoping for a one-night stand.

“Window is open, food is on the kitchen counter,” you further informed Rascal, even though the cat didn’t seem like he would come out from his hiding spot anytime soon, “I don’t know if I’m coming home. Try not to destroy some of my possessions while I’m gone.”

Like that you walked briskly out of your apartment. Right before you closed the door, you swore you heard a muffled mewl and hasty ruffles of fur on carpet and wood, but before you could see anything, the door was already locked. But you couldn’t miss the hollow scratching sounds on the other side as you walked away, just like your sensitive ears couldn’t miss the high mewls erupting from inside your flat.

Apparently Rascal overthought is bratty behavior and deeply regretted it, but why would he change his opinion that fast? For a moment you considered not to go to the date. For a short moment, you thought about turning around, unlocking the door and letting the animal worm again his way into your heart (like he wasn’t there already), letting the cat dictate your life.

That was the point which let you continue your way down to the stairs, out of the front door and on the streets. Rascal was a great companion, but just only that. A companion, someone who wouldn’t – _couldn’t_ \- respond to any of your rantings about work with actual words, someone who wasn’t able to give the same comfort a human could and surely not somebody who was able to fill the unexplainable void in your heart.

For so many months you had dreamed about Kakashi Hatake filling said void, of being brave enough to walk up on him and simply talk with the mysterious man, but you were just too inhabited by your insecurities.

You clenched your fists as you slowly made your way over to the restaurant _To the grinning pig_. Internally you ordered yourself to spend a nice evening in friendly, but unknown company, have a great talk and be just as charming as a princess.

 _I will have fun. I will have fun tonight. Not the kind of fun Anko talked about. My kind of fun._ you reassured yourself.

 

Akito already waited in front of the small restaurant. At least you assumed the indeed good-looking man was your blind date. He had the “boy-from-next-door” type of charm, with his nicely shaped features, the a bit too long hair which curled in waves over his ears, the eyes which were strategically searching the streets for any nearing woman and the somehow a bit feminine snub nose.

He was cute, nevertheless your stomach coiled into a tight ball due to your nervousness. Self-conscious you tried to wrinkle your blouse out, but there was nothing you could do to make the imaginary wrinkles disappear. With a sigh you took the last steps towards the male, who just settled his eyes on you and broke into a grin when you waved.

“Hello,” you said, thankful your voice wasn’t trembling like your knees did, “so I assume you’re Akito?”

“You assume right.” His voice was smooth and warm and he smiled kindly, what helped to ease the anxiety a little bit. “And I assume you’re the rumored (Y/N) (L/N)?”

“Rumored? I guess I don’t want to know what Anko told you to agree to this blind date.”

“Actually that wasn’t really much.” Akito chuckled and rubbed the base of his neck. “She can be a huge enigma when she wants.”

“Well,” you gestured towards the entrance, “we have a whole evening to get to know each other.”

It was surprisingly easy to talk calmly with Akito. Fastly you relaxed and let your guard down, what caused you to make more jokes or remarks. In return, the male was a prince charming himself. You had the feeling the dinner was going well and when you ordered your food in the cozy restaurant, he actually said not to worry, he would pay for the food. You didn’t expect that and brought your own money, so you two came to the conclusion to split the bill.

 

While waiting for the food, the talk went over to your jobs, triggered by the money-discussion.

“So you just came back from an A-rank mission?” you asked interested and plucked a piece of bread apart, “What is your specialty? What do you do?”

Akito lowered his glass filled with normal water carefully. “Oh, I’m a medic ninja. But I can defend myself if necessary, mainly with gen and ken jutsu.”

“And the goal of your mission?”

“The land of snow. A while ago there was a political reversal going on. The formerly abandoned princess got saved by a team of Konoha ninjas and we were send because there were threats against the newly appointed queen.”

“I heard about that. Is the land itself really covered in snow and ice all year?”

Akito nodded. “But lately there are times the snow partly melts. The inhabitants are overjoyed to see the green of the grass or trees wearing something else than icicles.” He chuckled, captured in his memories. “And what are you doing for a living?”

“I’m working for the T&I department of Konoha. But I actually thought about adding myself to the active mission rooster again. Getting out of the village must be nice, especially at this time of the year.” You wanted to continue, but then you saw the expression on Akito’s face.

A bit disgruntled, a bit afraid and a lot disbelieving. Instantly your heart dropped a few levels, directly through the chair and into the ground.

This wouldn’t end well.

“Uh… You’re working for the T&I department…?” Akito sounded like he wished you were making a joke, but as you nodded slowly, he choked out a nervous laugh. “Uhm… I didn’t know… I mean Anko didn’t tell me…”

“Is my job a problem?” Originally you wanted to sound like you couldn’t care less, but instead there was a pitiful swing in your voice. This situation… You already experienced it and the words from years ago echoed through your memories as your blind date spoke almost about the same things as Gin back then.

“No, not at all. It’s just… The T&I department, you know? They are… shady, somehow strange and… are they really doing anything? I mean, the jonin and chunin on the frontlines are earning money for the village, the teachers inside prepare the young ones for the life out there, the medic ninja keep those people alive, but the T&I people are just interrogating prisoners and write reports.”

 

“We do our part of the work.” You heard yourself weakly say, but Akito just continued to rant, growing more and more confident in putting more and more weight on your shoulders.

“And looking inside the heads, reading minds is just plain creepy. I like the privacy of my thoughts, thank you very much.”

“We’re collecting information for the frontlines to provide our shinobi with essential knowledge about enemies, their skills and tactics, their allies and their plans. We’re not doing “nothing”.”

He didn’t even consider your statement. “I’m just saying, the T&I department isn’t really useful. We as medic ninja do in my opinion more than enough to not only provide our fighters with the best medical support, but the civilians too.”

“We’re useful, just because you don’t get to see any resolves as a medical ninja from us doesn’t mean we’re-!”

“And as I said, reading minds makes me feel kind of uncomfortable. I mean, do you do that? Reading minds?”

“Yes, sometimes, but only when the subject doesn’t give in to other methods. We’re not some kind of torture chamber.”

Apparently the wrong thing to say. Akito snorted amused, now fully awoken in his anger against the T&I department. “Sometimes you only torture them? Okay. So they should be thankful for not getting their minds invaded, instead they only get hurt to spill information. Did I understand that right?”

Helpless you watched the evening go down the drain. Nothing you could say was going to change his mind, nothing you would logically explain or point out would make Akito understand, nothing you would do or say would go through his already made-up mind. It would’ve been better if you would’ve just stayed home.

 

You coughed, determined to suppress the tears burning in your eyes as hard as you could. “I believe this leads nowhere.” Quickly you gathered your sparse belongings and stood up, harsh enough to make the chair fall over. The other visitors of the restaurant already started to look as you scrambled around, fidgeting and awkwardly avoiding the server with your food. “I would say thank you, but I also believe there’s no point in thanking you for dragging me down and reminding me about very unpleasant things. So, thanks for nothing.” And you added, suddenly feeling very bold: “Try not to bitch about the job of your next poor blind date, maybe this will work out better.”

Before Akito even had time to think about a comeback, you ran out of the restaurant, what certainly ruined your dramatically departure, but you couldn’t care less. The only thing counting was the fast escape from his toxic presence, which managed to fulfill your worst fears.

Damn Anko. Why hadn’t she looked a little bit more into the man she appointed as your blind date? She knew about Gin, she knew what he had said and what terrible wounds those words ripped. The exact same things as Akito, the same unreasonable fears, the same pointless accusations, the same stupid arguments the people tugged out when they feared something they didn’t understand. Mostly civilians had a problem when you explained your job to them and ninjas were even the most understanding, but there were exceptions to every rule and unluckily Gin and Akito were those. And you had the questionable luck to meet both of them.

On the way home a nice fresh summer rain started to come down, but you didn’t fasten your step one bit. Instead you dully enjoyed the wetness running through your hair, down your face, letting the fabric of your clothes stick to your skin like your body belonged to someone else.

 

The way back to your apartment was blurred by the rain stripping down and your swirling emotions. So as you stepped up to your flat door and opened it slowly, you didn’t expect a small body fling themselves at you with the strength of a hurricane.

Rascal mewled loudly and snuggled his maw into the crook of your neck, all the while his short front legs tried desperately to claw into your blouse.

“Hey Rascal,” you mumbled weakly and felt the tears mixing with the remains of the rain on your features, “you unlucky thing. You had the flat for yourself and didn’t bring a nice little cat lady home.”

This time the sound coming from the animal was clearly scandalized. You laughed shakily and hugged the cat close, carefully cradling the source of warmth closer to your cold and numb heart. “Sorry, sorry. Just thought. A handsome cat like you surely must have some admirers out there who swoon all the time over you.”

Askingly Rascal growled what you quitted with a huff and finally closed the entrance door. “The date? Oh, great just great. I mean, it went great, but then he started to talk trash about my job at the T&I department. He’s a medic nin you know, and thought he was better than a s-simple T&I ch-chunin who does her hardest to be g-good at what sh-she’s doing…”

Embarrassed you shut your eyes tightly. The new tears were running over your cheeks like a goddamn waterfall and you hated how much of an effect the careless words had. Jittering in your cold and wet clothes, standing in the entrance area and holding a formerly stray cat like he was a precious person, you felt miserable. A choked sob broke free, then another followed and sooner than you would’ve expected, you found yourself on the ground, your back leaning against the door and sobbing desperately into the fur of Rascal’s flanks, who tried his hardest to snuggle closer into your shaking body. Like a gentle caress his tail laid around one of your wrists, sliding up and down, soothing and reminding you of other things; better things to worry about. His paws were secured on your collarbones and stomach, his whiskers tickled your neck and the low purr rummaging through the cat was everything you needed.

 

No words, no assurances, no angry tirades about stupid men. Just a wordless “I’m here” and “I will be there for you” was enough.

A little brain wave hit you. Slowly, but steady you loosened Rascal’s tight grip at your blouse. He protested, but you had to look into his black eye to make sure you were right with your assumption.

“You don’t want to be alone,” you whispered hoarsely, “Maybe you were alone for a huge part of your life. Maybe you tried for years to find someone who would chase this loneliness away, maybe you closed yourself off other people. Maybe I’m overthinking things, but please…” Shakily you breathed out and licked your lips, which were dry from your crying. “Please nod if I made your life only a little bit less lonely, a little bit more bearable, a tiny bit worth the hurt and pain this world throws at everyone living in it. Please… I know it’s selfish, but tell me if I did at least _something_ right in my life.”

The cat looked at you. Far too intelligent for a mere animal, far too intense for something without any emotions beside hunger, cold and sexual instincts. Then Rascal nodded sharply, one time, two times and you swore the single eye was a little bit watery.

“Thank god…” Your nose was blocked, but you smiled; a wet and helpless smile, nothing more than a silly twitch of the corners of your mouth. “At least _something_ …”

His cold nose prodded your cheek and the smile turned bigger, until you broke into a weak giggle at the cat’s attics. He tried to comfort you the best he could when Rascal needed probably also someone to comfort him. So you snuggled again in his flank and made sure not to suffocate the poor thing, all the while whispering over and over: “It’s okay. I won’t leave you. You can stay with me, I will come back. Always.”

 

You didn’t know for how long you sat there on the ground and comforted each other with nothing more than hushed words, low purrs and skin contact. Sometime, you moved over to your bed. Exhausted emotionally and physically, you dropped carelessly your clothes on the ground and slipped only in your underwear underneath the covers, all the while Rascal moved to his usual position on the left side. But as you had positioned yourself on your right flank and locked eyes, the cat moved over, not caring about his usual distance he put up in their sleep. Surprised you watched Rascal how he inched closer and settled down right in front of your chest, pressing his back into your bosom and eagerly purring when you hugged him close.

“You’re the first male I met who likes to snuggle,” you whispered and chuckled when the cat moved his nose to your chin, “and the very first who admits his feelings freely. I wish I could be like you, then I would’ve confessed to Kakashi a long time ago… Maybe not confessing, but at least talked with him.”

Rascal went shockingly still. You choked on the next sob, breathed in, breathed out, then managed to control the wave of grief washing over you. “Sorry. I know you don’t like other men. But this time I make you listen to this. After today I will never speak of him again, I swear.” Adjusting your grip around Rascal, you started to stroke over his grey fur. Letting the strands slip through your fingers and drawing circles on the skin underneath, you started to whisper about the man you fell for. “I don’t even know him well, he’s my neighbor. We don’t talk much, just nod awkwardly when we pass each other. I bet you wouldn’t like him, he has a lot of dogs running around. Anyway, he always wears a mask, so nobody knows what he looks like. Personally I believe he wears it because he’s too gorgeous for the mortals to look at him. Women would faint seeing him, enemies would drop on their knees to surrender and world peace would rule if he would became the Hokage. Just kidding.”

 

Rascal had snarled loudly, so you stopped your flow of words before you could piss off your companion any further. His tail flicked around, before it again wrapped itself around your wrist. Mirroring your movements on his calmly raising flank, the cat settled back into his comfortable position pressed against your chest, while you continued to whisper about your neighbor silently, until you felt how your swollen eyelids fell shut. Still you forced more words out of your mouth. This was your only chance to talk to somebody about Kakashi without getting any mischievous looks, good-willed comments or exchanged stories about heartbreaks. Just the grateful silence, huffs and purrs of an animal who would never disagree or talk back. But sometime also your brain was taken over by the tiredness and so your voice grew more and more distant until the merciful darkness washed over you.

Apparently the talk about your crush riled you up, because there was some crazy dream going on inside your mind. You dreamed about the smooth dark voice mumbling into your ears, about strong arms wrapping around your body and big hands holding you close. The faint pictures lingered inside your mind before they vanished abruptly and dipped into the dark sea of forgetfulness.

 

Usually you woke up pretty fast in the morning. This time though sleep didn’t want to let go and like this your sight was blurry and your mind was dizzy when you opened your eyes. It was unbearable warm in your bed and you didn’t know why, but when you felt a large body stirring beside you under the covers and snuggling closer, you figured the mystery out.

_Oh. One-night stand. Guess for Akito I was an easy prey, huh?_

Quickly you tried to assess the situation. First, you made out the positions of your bodies and you sighed in content as you did so. The man was slung around you, his muscular and wide chest expanded with every deep breath he took and pressed like that your nose into the soft skin. In your sleep you had moved your arms around his waist, in return he slung his own over your shoulder and around your waist. You were essentially trapped by the male, but couldn’t bring yourself to care. Instead you smiled with closed eyes and feeling adventurous, you pressed a quick kiss to the pectoral muscle right in front of you.

Wait. _Wait._ Yesterday evening came to your mind. The restaurant, the nice start, the not-so-nice comments, the crying, the cuddling with Rascal, the whispered words of care, the secrets in the bed… Then nothing.

Yes, nothing explained the man in your bed, because it couldn’t be Akito, not after the big fat misstep he took with bitching about your job (in the light of the new day you were royally pissed at the male). Opening your eyes was the necessary step to take.

The first thing you saw was white. Not the lily-white of paper, but the white of human skin who doesn’t see the sun very often. But it wasn’t the sick kind of white, only… pale. There were scars littered over the skin like macabre strokes of a brush over a canvas, but you were more interested in the face of your visitor.

Carefully you savored the nicely developed build of the male specimen in your bed. The contours of his chin were great, sharp and made to be kissed. Just like the mole right underneath the very kissable lips, a beautiful dark spot in between white skin. Raising your head and vision further, you also spotted peacefully closed eyes and a somehow cute nose, but at the sight of the hair you paused.

 

Grey. Grey like Rascal’s fur. Grey like Kakashi’s wild mane. Just as spiky, just as wild and just as untamed as the copy ninja’s hair. But that was impossible. He was somewhere else, what should he do in your bed in the morning, sniffing at your hair and smiling in his sleep as he did so? (A very cute smile which send your heart skyrocketing.)

It must be a gen jutsu. Had to be. Otherwise you couldn’t explain this situation, otherwise you couldn’t _handle_ this situation. So you loosened the grip around the illusion and formed the tiger seal, mumbling “Kai!” and concentrating your chakra to the max.

Nothing. The illusionary Kakashi was still in your bed, but by now he was waking up and the smile returned when he noticed you were also awake. His arms tightened around you as he leaned closer, nosing your cheek and you swore you heard him lowly grumble in his chest.

He purred. Well, tried to, it was more the human equivalent to the typical cat sound. Speaking about cats, where was Rascal in this scenario? Was the attacker not aware of the cat in your life or did he simply forgot him?

Resolutely you pushed the man off. “Excuse me, I don’t like to cuddle with illusions.”

The illusion’s eyebrows wrinkled. “Wha-?” Surprise crossed his face. For a moment you thought there was something similar to panic flashing over the features, then the fake Kakashi attempted to grip his own throat. “Am I… speaking?” he rasped confused.

“Uhm, yes. Illusions tend to do that,” you answered and finally managed to free yourself from the embrace, “Apparently I’m not strong enough to remove the gen jutsu, so could you just start with whatever torture you’re into, so we can get over with it.”

“I’m not going to torture you.” He sounded like he didn’t use his voice for a very long time. The words only spilled slowly from his lips and the fake Kakashi winced as he slowly sat up, closing and opening his hands a few times like he tested their durability and strength.

Shivering lightly in your (f/c) underwear, you crossed your arms over your chest and tried desperately not to blush at the sight of the naked upper body of the illusion. “Then what do you want from me? Just to your information: I’m not going to break under any physical or mental pressure.”

 

“(Y/N), I’m not an illusion.”

“Yeah sure. Go on, web your lies. Besides, why the beauty spot? A bit uncreative, don’t you think?”

The illusionary male wriggled strangely with his toes which peeked out from under your blanket and you watched for a moment. Whoever put you into this gen jutsu made a thorough research on your life. But by now it was well known around the city that a cat was accompanying you, so why did the attacker forget about Rascal? And why use such a strange approach of an illusionary Kakashi sleeping cuddled up with you in your bed when it was also obvious that he was absent for nearly two months by now?

A really obvious and almost shameful attempt to fool you. Ridiculous.

And the main aggressor in the scenario wasn’t aggressive. In fact the illusion was hostile, nice and didn’t even try to come near you, if someone didn’t count in the earlier snuggling and purring. The man looked like he was just as surprised as you to find himself in your bed, but there was something else mixed into his confusion and out of instinct you would call it hesitant joy.

“(Y/N),” even his voice sounded like the real one, “I swear, I’m not an illusion. Can you let me explain this without thinking I’m here to interrogate you?”

“Fine.” You sat down on your couch, though not before grabbing your bathrobe and quickly hiding your bare curves to him. Somehow you could still feel flustered in this gen jutsu. “Then please, enlighten me.”

The fake Kakashi sighed lowly and you noticed a faint blush on the naked cheeks. “Thanks for hearing me out. Okay, I guess, I should come straight to the point or better, the main problem. I… We…” The blush intensified. “I’m Rascal.”

“What?”

“I am your cat, Rascal. Well, I _was_ ,” Kakashi said hastily, “and I know how it sounds, I _know_ , because all this time I spend here is surely-!”

“Are you kidding me?” A dry laugh escaped you. “You claim to be my cat? A fake Kakashi Hatake claims to be Rascal, a little mischievous fuck who stole my fish one the first evening I met him? Maybe you want to reconsider your story a little bit.”

 

The man bawled the blankets in his lap and shortly you asked yourself if he was just as naked underneath his belt line as above. “What can I do to make you believe this is not a gen jutsu?”

“Do what you want.” you smirked.

“Okay.” the illusion mumbled and fiddled harder with the edges of the covers. You had to admit he was cute like this, clearly flustered and eyes casted to the ground, the body slouched together and the face a tiny bit red from the blood creeping up into the naked cheeks. Kakashi breathed deeply in like he steeled himself for a deadly confrontation, then he dared to meet your eyes. “Rascal likes to lay in your lap while you read. You tend to tug at his ears as a teasing, but you always tickle his chin afterwards to make up for the short possible pain. You visited the memorial stone and he was there, sitting next to the stone. You brought a sunflower, a four leaf clover and a stone with seven holes as offerings for your family and your friend Gin. One time you carried me around town on your shoulders and it was relaxing enough to make me sleepy. You met your friends then, Iruka, Anko, Kurenai and Asuma and Anko made jokes about me in your bed,” his head resembled a tomato when he said that, “and you joked back. I don’t remember much of that time, I slept mostly, but I still know that you had a serious talk about your crush with Anko and Kurenai and that Anko wanted to arrange blind dates to let you forget about your two year lasting crush…”

With every finished sentence your smirk dropped lower until your mouth opened lightly in the surprise and _shock_ which roared awake. You never heard of a gen jutsu lasting for two months and you were pretty sure only the sharingan could create such a huge illusion without the prisoner noticing anything. There were currently only two Uchiha’s alive and both were out of the village. So no gen jutsu. And the _real_ Kakashi knowing all those things; things you experienced only with the cat Rascal and told nobody could only explained with… him being the cat the whole time.

 

Oh god. _Oh fucking god…_ Why? You felt how the blood drained from your face faster than a lightning had time to flash over the sky. You said so many things about him and Kakashi was the whole time _in the room_ , you spilled so easily your crush to him _only yesterday_ , you did so many embarrassing things, you checked his gender, you acted like a total mad woman in his presence, he scrambled through your underwear and caressed your breasts, _Kakashi_ had snuggled into your lap and so many times you pressed him himself into your breasts to hold him…

The very real copy cat ninja in your bed didn’t notice your quickly rising panic. Instead he continued to talk about the last weeks and his voice was only the tiniest bit wavering during the whole ordeal. “You would always buy my favorite food for me. No matter how late it was, I could crawl into your lap and be sure you would care and be there for a quiet whisper or an assuring word. You… you said all those things yesterday to me, about not leaving me alone, that you would always come back, no matter what…” Kakashi actually managed to stop fidgeting around and looked properly at you, who sat frozen on the couch. “And I was glad to hear it.”

“So you were aware?” you brought out, “You knew who you were and where you were the whole time?”

He nodded with a slowly dawning smile wandering over his lower face. _(His face. I can see his face, his real face! Heaven’s, he’s gorgeous!)_ Kakashi had been aware, the little mischievous fucktard. The whole fucking time he did all those things to you with the full intention of doing them the fucking…!

“Get out.” You stood up and watched how the hopeful gleam in his eyes vanished. Pointing at the door you spoke and thankfully your voice kept calm and even, despite the raging emotions screaming and howling for a little bit of blood of the man. “Get out before I forget myself.”

 

Desperately Kakashi wanted to get something in, even moved up from the bed and you saw how the blanket slipped lower and lower without any kind of fabric showing on the pale skin. “Keep decent!” you screeched and covered your eyes.

“(Y/N), please listen to me.”

“No, I don’t want to listen, not when you used the opportunities of being an animal and sneaked around my curfew! You could’ve communicated when you were aware, you’re not a genius for nothing! But instead of doing the right thing and informing me, you let me in the dark and used me!”

You allowed Kakashi to sleep in your bed. You allowed him to walk over you as a cat, you allowed too many things you wouldn’t allow anyone out there. Not your friends, not a potential lover, not anyone. Besides, you took great pleasure in your ninja senses. Some part of you just knew when the nearby animal was a ninja in disguise or something else than it claimed to be, but over the time span of two months… Nothing, not one tingle. Your pride was wounded and like a hurt animal you tried to slash everybody who came too close. Like Kakashi.

The jonin stopped abruptly, one hand outstretched, the other secured the blanket over his lower body. Kakashi stood only a few meters away, but you could still see the curve of his behind from your point of view and how the muscles rippled in his legs when he stepped backwards. “Please,” he said and his voice was this time clearly shaking, “could you listen to my explanation?”

_He deserves a chance to explain. Maybe there were circumstances!_

_NO! I don’t want to listen, I don’t want to hear any of this, I want to scream and trash around and ignore everything!_

_Stop being such a child. You always dreamed about a situation like this, right? Be an adult, man up and then at least allow him to explain._

_He looks so lost. Come on, his eyes practically beg me to let him get a word in._

_He looks like Rascal._

 

“Not… Not now.”

Kakashi’s head perked up at your whispered words.

You breathed in and counted to ten. “Not now,” you repeated, “later. I can’t think straight currently, you need to get clothed and I would only shout at you no matter what you say. So please, go. For your own sake.”

“But we will talk?” Kakashi sounded insecure enough to make your insides melt again. “When?”

“Give me some time. I will inform you.”

“Sure?”

You nodded only. Turning away, you heard how he shuffled around while burying your face in your hands, then you heard the ruffles and unmistakable noises of a teleportation jutsu and a weak ‘thud’ from the apartment beside yours told you Kakashi left and was now in his own home. A quick glance assured you and you nearly growled in annoyance when you noticed the missing blanket. Maybe it didn’t cross his mind, but that was your only one! And the most comfy on top of that.

Later that day, a shy knock resounded through your flat. Since the possibility of Kakashi waiting outside was pretty high, you waited a few minutes before moving out of your bed with a grunt. Though your eyebrows raised in surprise when you opened the door and only found the insides of your blanket and the still warm covers of the blanket sitting on your doorstep. Hastily you looked around and searched for a certain scarecrow in disguise, but there was no soul around. Grabbing both items, you almost missed the note sitting between the folded fabric and only when it fluttered with a noticeable sound to the ground, you noticed.

Your fingers shook as you enfolded the paper and read the words.

_“Remember your promise. I’m looking forward to our talk.”_

At the first moment you wanted to crumple the paper and throw it away, but your hand didn’t obey your brain. Instead you straightened the wrinkles your too tight grip caused out and stuffed the note into the deep pockets of the bathrobe you still wore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the Kudos and comments! I really didn't expect that this story would be liked by so many people. Hopefully this chapter will also be to your liking.   
> Have a nice day! (^-^)


	4. The dinner where you get an explanation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few days went by and Kakashi waits for his chance to explain himself. But you need a bit of persuasion and thankfully, Iruka and a tiny bit of Anko are there to set your mind straight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still amazed how well received this fic is. It was just something to keep me occupied and it's not like I didn't enjoy writing it. But as I said: I never believed that many people would like it.  
> Thanks to all of you, you are awesome and I wish you a bright day! :)

“You do realize you have a shadow?”

“Shut it Iruka. And don’t look at him, otherwise he will get encouraged.”

“Just saying.” The teacher shrugged nonchalantly.

Anko leaned over and threw a not so secret glance at the silver haired man, who leaned deliberately casual against a nearby tree and had his obscenely orange book out, but instead of intently reading, you felt the charcoal eyes raking over your back. “Why again aren’t you talking to him?”

You threw a poisonous glare at the purple haired woman. “Iruka, tell Anko kindly I still don’t talk to _her_ because of the absolute shit-date she arranged.”

The teacher dropped the chopsticks into the ramen he ordered and sighed innerved. “You’re acting worse than the children in my class, you’re aware of that?”

“Tell her.”

“Fine.” The brunet gestured annoyed around. “Anko, (Y/N) is telling you she’s still pissed for not looking much into the man you selected.”

“And I already said I’m sorry, okay?”

While your two friends bickered on your behalf, you tried to concentrate on your own food, but the intense look Kakashi burned nearly a hole into your back. You were close to just turn around, march up to the man and demand him to stop it, but then you had to explain why you avoided him for the last three days like the pest and at that thought, heat crawled up into your face.

Before that happened, you would favor a bath in acid.

Since the morning with a freshly transformed scarecrow in your bed, you managed pretty well to go out of Kakashi’s way. Five days of sneaking around your own flat, five days of jumping out of your window on your way to work, five days of ashamed and self-conscious doubts running circles in your head. Hell, you were no longer angry at Kakashi. Mostly you were ashamed of yourself and your hysterical behavior, that you broke a promise (given to a cat, but nevertheless given) and screamed around like an imprudent child at someone who was just as disorientated as you.

 

You wanted to dig a hole, crawl in it and live in the earth, just to avoid facing Kakashi ever again. Unluckily the jonin catched up to your plan rather fast. Since yesterday he was simply everywhere you went, either reading, strolling around or just plainly stared at you like he wanted to say: “I’m here no matter where you go. So hurry up and let me explain.”

His constant presence wasn’t easing the pressure you put on yourself. Instead it got only harder to overcome your shame. Running away from the embarrassing talk was certainly easier than facing the shitload of feelings which would surely empty out over your mind. With a low sigh you stabbed sluggishly your food once more, than pushed the bowl away. You had a mission today, a simple delivery of a scroll to a nearby village and back and slacking off at the first day of work wasn't your thing. For the beginning such an easy task was nothing much, but you wanted to start slow, not jump head over heels into an A-rank mission. You were a lowly chunin after all. “Thanks for the meal,” you murmured into the direction of the ramen stall owner and dropped the money on the counter, “I’m off then.”

“Hey!” Anko grabbed your sleeve before you were able to get away. “We aren’t finished!”

“Oh yes,” you hissed and claimed your arm back, “this lunch is finished and thank the gods I’m not trying to strangle you for not checking if my blind date is the same as Gin, a fucking hypocrite who takes every knowledge the T&I unravels as granted and never thinks of the hardships we have to endure!”

She raised her hands. “I didn’t know! I’m also part of the T&I, at least partly and Akito never had a problem with me!”

“Does he know you belong to us?”

“I assumed he knew. Never really made the effort to clarify it.”

You snorted dryly. “Yeah, better elucidate.”

A dangerous sparkle came to life in Anko’s eyes. “Oh, I will,” she promised and you could nearly hear the snakes she summoned hissing under her trenchcoat, “and how much he will regret for being a tiny bitch.”

 

“And what are you doing about Kakashi-sensei?” Iruka asked and lightly nodded into the direction of the unsuspicious jonin, who was still looming close to the ramen stall. And maybe you got paranoid, but wasn’t he only minutes ago farther away? “Do you want to act any longer like a pettish child or do you grow up and hear him out?”

“Are you on my side or on his?” you immediately retorted.

Iruka sighed. “On yours. On _yours_.” Wrinkling your nose, you stared for a moment at the teacher, trying to find out if he was serious or not. Iruka looked back, unbearable clam and composed until you broke the eye contact with a grunt and formed the seals for a teleportation jutsu.

“Good. See you then around.”

Before anyone could do or say anything, you were gone in a swirl of leaves and wind. The teleportation was like always a bit scary, the feeling of being swallowed by absolute nothingness and high pressure tugging at your skin innerved you, but it was worth the again dodged attempt of Kakashi to talk with you. You landed in the middle of your room and instantly watched out for any sounds from the flat beside yours, partly scared and partly hoping to hear Kakashi also return.

Nothing. A bit disappointed you waited for another two or three seconds, then pinched yourself into the arm. He just wanted to get clear. Kakashi just wanted to explain himself and his transformation. Why were you such a stuck up child and couldn’t be honest for once?

A ‘thud’ in the flat right beside you, shuffling and the window which got opened ripped you out of the dark thoughts. Your heart pounded awfully loud in your ears as you waited, eyes wide and breath quickening when Kakashi casually walked over the thin stage before your window. He threw a look through the glass and waved when he catched you staring, only to lower himself on the outer windowsill and again tugging his book out.

You buried your face in your palms, but groaned loudly when the man started to tap absent-mindedly at your window. You knew that rhythm, because Rascal always used to tap the same with his claws or the end of his tail on your skin when he wanted attention.

You missed the presence of the cat. You missed the casual strolling around your apartment, the little sounds of claws scratching over wood, the mewls and purrs coming from him and the deliberate snuggling and cuddling Rascal indulged to.

 

But Rascal was Kakashi. He did all those things, aware of the effect they had on you and using you to some point as a free place to stay. Sneaking into your flat and… doing what exactly? Except for turning your life upside down, for sneaking his way into your heart and letting you feel better with every passing day?

With slight anxiety you noticed the window was a tiny bit open, a bad habit from the time Rascal used to stroll in or out. Apparently Kakashi noticed too, because he turned a page and started to speak. His voice vibrated through your body and turned your knees into jelly. “I know you’re listening.”

Just when you wanted to back up, Kakashi directly looked at you and froze you on the spot. “I know you’re hearing me, but I won’t explain myself now. Not here, on the outside of your flat. Only when you give me the permission and let me enter your flat once more I’m going to speak.”

“Then what are you doing here?” you heard yourself weakly say.

His eyes creased in a smile and for a moment you wished the mask wouldn’t be in the way of his gorgeous features. “I found myself enjoying your presence. Or is it that hard to believe?”

_Actually yes. After I flipped out, screamed at you and all that, you still enjoy my presence? You must be crazier than the average jonin._

“(Y/N)? Can I stay here for a while?” Kakashi asked and turned calmly another page.

“Sure,” you choked out, “stay as long as you want. Do you need anything?”

It was your nicer side breaking through the shame and guilt feasting at your insides. The male chuckled and continued to tap rhythmically on his thigh, knocking every now and then with his knuckles on the glass. “A tea would be nice.”

Okay. A tea. Simple enough. While walking over to the kettle and filling it with water, you tried to control your tensed nerves better. “Which kind of tea?” you asked.

“I came to like the smell of the one you brew often. Green tea with a hint of lemon.”

“Okay.”

The minutes until the water brewed were unsettling to the max. Carefully you sneaked a few peeks at Kakashi and admired how the sun glistened in his hair, how even his slouched posture radiated strength and confidence. When you ignored all the shame and guilt, you were extremely grateful he was back, alive and well. Your worries and images of the man laying riddled in a hospital bed and strapped to respiratory equipment were proven wrong. And to be honest, _somehow_ it was kind of funny how he lived for two months for free in your flat. A little grin flashed over your face as you prepared a mug, but you couldn’t resist and threw another glance over your shoulder. Suddenly the man catched your eyes and he chuckled lowly. “Want something?”

“No.” Silence. “Actually…”

Why you? Why did he choose to stay in your flat? Where was he the time when he didn’t roam around your curfew? Why did he cuddle that much, why did he allow so many things degrading for humans? Why didn’t he say anything the whole time? “I’m going on a mission in a few hours.”

“O-kay. I will be gone before then, don’t worry.”

“I believe… After that mission we can talk.”

 

Surprisingly Kakashi stilled. You nearly expected to see him jumping excitedly around and pumping his fists into the air after the long drought of you ignoring him at all costs, but the man calmly continued to read his book. The only admission that he heard you was another casual glance into your direction. “May I ask what changed your mind?”

“Iruka.” _And my own damn guilty consciousness, but I better not tell him this._ “And Anko, I guess.”

“Then I have to buy them a drink the next time I see them.”

“Go with Iruka, he’s a lightweight. Two vodka shots and he’s done.”

“Thanks for the tip.” Kakashi snickered and thanked you with a nod as you opened the window further and brought him the green tea. As he took the cup out of your hands, your fingers brushed together. He was warm, just like Rascal had been, but his skin was entirely different from the fur you were used to. Smoother obviously, but also with a few scars here and there, even at his fingers. Probably from training crazy kunai tricks or something. Resisting the urge to stroke over his skin just to prove yourself that it was real, you smiled a bit when you noticed slightly red ears peeking out of the grey mane of the man.

Out of reasons Kakashi blushed faintly when he felt the contact.

“You’re welcome,” you said hoarsely and the jonin’s face went redder, “And I’m supposed to be back tomorrow afternoon. My door will be open.”

He gulped loudly and fidgeted nervously around, so you chuckled and added, just for good measure: “Promise.”

Kakashi nearly dropped “Icha-Icha-Paradise” as you said that, you could see it in the hasty sway of his body and the surprised gasp he let out. Somehow the nervousness was reassuring and with a much lighter heart you closed the window and prepared for your first mission in years. The whole time the jonin read on your outer windowsill and you couldn’t shake off the feeling that he glanced from time to time at the catnip which stood just on the other side of the glass.

 

The mission itself went on just as promised. A simple delivery of a scroll, filled to the brim with encrypted information the T&I department found. But you relished in the sun shining on your face, the mild breeze stroking over your skin and the feeling of adventurous reliability flooding through you. You _did_ something; something for the village you loved and this time it didn’t consist of invading the twisted mind of a broken prisoner or a rogue ninja. It was actually fun to fulfill the task and when the villagers thanked you with bright smiles on their faces, you couldn’t hold back the joyful laughter anymore.

On a decent pace you wandered back and luck was on your side. The wind carried you faster with your ninja speed through the trees that you arrived around midday at the big Konoha gates. Writing your report about the mission was just a formality and you quickly got rid of it by taking the sheets of paper to Iruka, who had mission desk duty that day.

The teacher looked up from the report he just worked on as you entered the room and smiled when he recognized your figure. “Welcome back! I didn’t expect you so soon.”

“Wind was on my side,” you laughed and settled in a nearby seat down, “my reports are nearly done, but I would be at ease if you would look over them a last time before actually submitting them.”

Iruka nodded. “I would’ve done that nevertheless. So, how was it, your first mission back in business?”

Chatting about the rather boring (but for you still exciting) happenings surrounding your task, you finished writing your report and handed it to your friend who thoroughly corrected your mistakes. Sitting at your second report, your thoughts started to wander until Iruka elbowed you into your ribs. “I didn’t want to ask straight away,” he began weakly, “but how’s the thing with Kakashi-sensei? Do you still avoid him?”

Before answering you settled down your pen at the end of the sentence. “I’m talking with him. This evening.”

To your mild surprise Iruka sighed satisfied out. “Thank god. If you would’ve continued to act like a child, I would’ve tried to lock both of you into one room or send you on the same mission to make you talk.”

“Hey! I thought you were on my side!”

“I’m actually neutral in that department.”

 

You shook your head, only the tiniest bit angry at the man. “My own friends turn against me. Unbelievable.”

“No.” He took the report out of your hands, quickly scanned the letters and nodded approvingly, before taking a big red ‘approved’-stamp and marking the document with it. “I’m neutral. That means I’m rooting for both of you.” Iruka smiled his nicest beaming smile and it was warming your heart more than you could describe. On impulse you hugged him shortly, what he quitted with a laugh and a hug in return.

“Thanks,” you said quietly and moved out of your chair, “I think now I’m feeling more confident. At least confident enough to stay calm.”

“Then my work here is done.”

The way through the town seemed to melt under your feet and when you eagerly slammed your keys into the front door to the apartment complex, you remembered the evening when you met Rascal, sitting at your doorstep, drenched from the rain and staring at the door like he could open it with the power of his stare. The last steps on the stairs weren’t even echoing through the hallway, before Kakashi stuck his head out of his flat, the grey hair defying gravity and the mask tugged into its usual place.

“Yo.” He waved lazily, but measured at the way how he nearly jumped out of his hiding spot meant he was waiting. Waiting for you.

You waved back, though a bit more enthusiastic than the jonin. “Hey.”

The man stepped fully out of the door. He was cladded into a normal black shirt with his mask connected to it and long, rolled up sleeves and the typical ninja pants, but strangely enough he was walking on bare feet and a simple dark blue apron was bound around his middle.

You pointed at the apron. “Are you cooking?”

Kakashi ruffled over the back of his neck. “Is it that obvious?” Then he smiled at you, what send your heart into a wild carousel. “I thought about making a quick dinner for your return. After all you cooked all the time for me.”

 

“You didn’t have to.” you said and walked over to the door of your flat.

“But I wanted.” Kakashi fidgeted on his feet as you unlocked the door, nervous and at the brink of asking you something. Then he blurted out: “When are we going to…?”

A low chuckle escaped you. “When I had a nice shower and got dressed in some clean clothes. Give me twenty minutes, okay? I will not change my opinion now. Especially when you cooked dinner for me.”

Kakashi nodded and you felt his eyes lingering on your back as you unlocked the door and stepped into the security of your own house. But not in a creepy way, you actually enjoyed the knowledge that he was apparently that eager to explain himself that he was even cooking dinner for you. Thus you hurried with your shower and clothing yourself, and after only fifteen minutes you stood inside Kakashi’s flat, where the jonin already had prepared a table with cutlery and plates for both of you. A heavenly scent was in the air and the spittle nearly spilled out of your mouth when you entered.

“It smells great.” Absent minded you looked around and inspected the four walls you never expected to see in your life. A small table with the plates on it, a similar kitchen counter mirroring yours, a desk with different smudged mission reports draped over the surface and a wide bed with green covers and shuriken printed on the blankets. And naturally a huge and wide bookshelf which overflowed with romances, smutty penny dreadful and the “Icha-Icha”-series. In the end, the flat was sparser than you thought, nevertheless represented the character of its inhabitant way better than you could’ve imagined. There were not many personal items in the room, only two pictures of different brightly smiling and a bit miffed looking teams and a huge and somehow sick looking plant, crumpling nearly away on the windowsill displayed that someone actually lived in those rooms.

 

“Really?” Kakashi asked, already stirring again in a huge pot. “I wanted to try this recipe for some time, but then my unlucky incident got in the way.” He turned and wiggled with his fingers. “I never would’ve believed I would be happy about having thumbs.”

“Was it that bad being a cat?” You stepped closer to the shelf and read the different titles. Maybe you two could become friends after this incident and you could borrow some books.

He snorted. “No, not really. Sometimes it was actually quite nice. The longest vacation I ever had.”

“Sleeping as long as you want, stealing my food, demanding my attention…”

“As I said. Vacation.” He stepped around the kitchen counter, his hands cladded into red oven mittens and holding the pot up. Kakashi settled the pot down and wiped with the back of his hands a few sweat drops off of his forehead and you were unlucky to see that sexy gesture. Your cheeks flared up at the sight and you nearly sighed dreamily out, but then held it in. Friends. That was the most you could hope for after this ridiculous scenario. _Friends_.

“It looks great too,” you said after a look inside the pot, “So, is there a special ingredience I should know about?”

Kakashi chuckled lowly and sat down; sending your heart yet again into a sudden spin. “Eat and find out.” Though you couldn’t miss the red ears peeking out of his grey mane.

The jonin wasn’t only a deadly shinobi, but a great cook too. Eating was first a bit complicated with the man trying to hide his face all the time, but you just kept your eyes fixed on the plate and continued to eat no matter what sounds reached your ears, even though to see his face again would’ve been so fucking sweet. First he was lowering his mask, taking a quick bite and dragging the mask back up, what must be a pain in the neck to repeat over and over. After some minutes Kakashi reached the state of not caring anymore if you would see his face and just started to dig in, the mask apparently hanging down.

 

Dinner passed in comfortable silence and only when you two stood side by side and washed the dishes, you dared to make the first step.

“Uhm… Kakashi? How exactly were you turned into a cat?”

He continued to simply wash the plate while you dried off the silverware. “That’s a kind of funny story,” he started slowly, “and it all started with a simple A-rank mission. My team and I were send to investigate some suspicious activity at our borders. Quickly we found the reason. A bunch of lapsed ninjas made a cave their new home and after I talked with my team, we decided to take them out and arrest one or two for further investigation. Getting in was no problem, but during the fight the situation escalated. I split up from my team - a grave mistake when I look back at it - to chase after the leader. I didn't expect him to have more men under his control, so I stumbled right into a trap. While I was distracted with fighting them, the leader threw this jutsu at me. I turned into the cat you know and that was nearly the end of me, but my team catched up and killed him before he could end my life."

“I never heard of a jutsu that would turn you into an animal. Over such a long time on top of that.”

“Me too. I only had time to save the handsigns with my sharingan,” he gestured towards the closed scarred eye, “but then I got hit and that was the start of my life as a four-legged furball.”

“And why did you get stuck? I mean when you knew the handsigns and all that?”

Kakashi laughed, but this time it definitely sounded embarrassed. “The jutsu was constipated to restrain an enemy shinobi over a long period of time in small areas. My guess is that it was created during war times to hold a lot of prisoners in limited cells. It feed of my chakra and nourished like that the transformation, restraining also my movement and ability to communicate. I was really a cat, just with the brain of a human. I had no other chance but to rely on my teammates to get me home safe and explain the thing to the Hokage. Tsunade and Ibiki tried very hard to return me to normal, but…” He shrugged. “Nothing worked until...” He left the sentence unfinished.

 _Oh._ Dumbfounded you settled back to the easy chore at hand and wiped with a thin towel the remains of water off the porcelain. Automatically the pictures of the morning Kakashi spoke about came back and the really ridiculous kiss you placed at his chest, together with the fact that he practically snuggled naked into you with a silly smile on his bare face and a purr rummaging through his body.

 

“And why me?” you asked weakly and tried to dismiss the blush creeping over your face. “Why me? Why choosing my flat as your secondary home?”

The sight of the usually unfazed Kakashi dropping the plate he just washed back into the dirty water was hilarious. His eyes were wide and he looked a tiny bit panicked if you had to name the emotion which crossed his face then, drying his hands on the apron he still wore and searching for words. “Uhm… Yes, that’s a really good question…” he stuttered and now the blood wandered also to the visible part of his features, “I guess it was because you were really nice and I didn’t expect that at all, I mean, I didn’t know what kind of person you were. All the time I just thought I would like to talk to you, because…”

The rest of the sentence drowned in an unintelligible mumble, therefore you couldn’t make out the rest of the meaning. Nevertheless you felt how your face lit up like the fucking sun itself as you tried to finish the sentence on your own and came to only one solution.

Kakashi continued to fidget around (by now you were certainly sure the mask was to cover up his easily reddening face, there couldn’t be another explanation) and stuttered so damn adorable that you couldn’t help yourself but to break into a little smile as he finally got some coherent words out, not only syllables of rests of words. “What I actually wanted to get across, not only today, but also the morning I changed back: I was happy to hear you reciprocate my feelings. And I wanted to explain why I stayed, why I decided not to try to communicate, all the things why you felt probably betrayed, I think.”

Kakashi inhaled deeply like he had to steel himself for a bigger challenge, while you could only blink confused at the sudden _confession_ going on. “I wanted to observe, get to know you. And being not myself I… I believed it was a perfect chance to gain more knowledge about you. Over the time I found it also easier to allow more feelings, that’s the reason why Rascal became so cuddly and overall compliant. I… I just wanted…”

Obviously frustrated Kakashi shook his head. “It was never my intention to hurt you in any way. Being a cat and your pet seemed like an opportunity for me to… to…”

“I understand,” you interrupted gently and touched carefully his shoulder, “I think I do.”

 

Kakashi Hatake, the famous copy cat ninja of the leaf, was shy. He rambled, got nervous, couldn’t form a straight sentence and apparently he had been just as interested in you before the whole body transformation as you had been. But both of you dumb fucks were too nervous and too insecure to act on their feelings, therefore the awkward nodding everytime you passed each other. And like this, Kakashi used the sudden and ongoing transformation to his advantage, gaining access to your apartment and getting to know you, the excellent ninja he was (only after a few hours you realized he acted like he was on a mission: planning, staying in the shadows and keeping his cover all the time).

“You do?” Blunt surprise crossed Kakashi’s eyes as he raised his head. “I didn’t even understand myself. Then how can you?”

“I spend a lot of awful time to read Rascal’s… _your_ body language,” you answered simply and shrugged as the man only stared, “And I guess I would’ve done the same thing if I had the chance. I mean, pose as a cat while secretly gathering info about my target.”

“And using every chance to get near them.”

“That too.”

Silence spread over you two. Standing side by side in front of the sink, you wouldn’t believe your eyes as Kakashi suddenly leaned closer, his coal eyes locked with yours and silently asking for permission. Before you could even think about declining, he had pecked your cheek with his mask still covering his mouth and was already retreating before you realized what just happened.

Flabbergasted you touched the spot where he had kissed you. “For what was that?” Just a short meeting of skin on more sensitive skin covered by fabric, but the kissed place tingled and warmth spread from there into every limb.

“For keeping your promise.” Kakashi whispered with a gentle swing in his voice.

He was so adorable. A blushing shy mess, the red ears and cheeks wonderfully mixing with the grey hair and pale skin, but inwardly you thought that he was better that way than the confident and always cool person he displayed to the world.

 

The dishes were done, though you still stood frozen and far too close together. Your arms touched, brushed together and as you stroked lightly over the whole length of his forearm, Kakashi was trembling heavily. He didn’t move one inch, just his eyes followed you intently as you edged even closer, letting your flanks bump together.

He didn’t retreat.

“Okay.” you said suddenly.

Askingly Kakashi’s eyebrows raised. “Okay?” he echoed.

You laughed a bit embarrassed. “Okay. We both know what we feel for each other, am I right?”

“I think so.”

“We’re on the same page?”

“Pretty much.”

“Then okay. I’m willing to try this out, if you want.”

Both of your heads were resembling tomatoes. At least you were sure yours was hot and red and one glance at Kakashi, who fiddled with the edges of the apron confirmed your hunch. But there was no way out of this, no other way. So you pushed forward, stumbling a bit over your heavy tongue, nervous and with much more vigor than you would’ve believed to possess. “Let’s go on a date. Tomorrow.”

His head jerked up. “Huh?”

“I want to get to know you. It’s only fair, because you know pretty much everything about me, while I have no clue other than the stories I heard.” you stated seriously, though your fingers laid the whole time at his arm and your flanks bumped together, causing a silent hum of electricity to run through your system. “And normal people don’t turn into cats, they meet up and talk about their likes and dislikes…”

 

“Oh.” For the first time Kakashi smiled whole heartedly underneath his mask, eyes creasing and the fabric rippling where his mouth must be. “I like books, grilled mackerel and eggplants, training and watering my plant Mr. Ukki. There isn’t anything I totally dislike, though I seem to become disgruntled when somebody I’m interested in tries to go on a blind date with someone else. Now you know me.”

“Funny,” you nudged gently your elbow into his ribs, “didn’t know you were a clown.”

“I’m trying.” he retorted instantly.

“Then mission accomplished. Congratulations.”

“I fulfilled my own mission in more than one way.”

This light conversation went far better than you expected. Another plus was the casual skin contact you maintained the whole time, though you were the only one initiating some. But as Kakashi leaned again in and snuggled his face into the crook of your neck just like Rascal had done so many times, you felt like you melted and got frozen at the same time.

“So we agree,” you managed to say, “we agree we’re taking this slowly?”

Kakashi hummed approvingly. At the same time he inched closer and now you got fully embraced by the jonin, his arms wrapped loosely around your waist, chin resting on your shoulder and hair tickling your temple. You froze on the spot, surprised at the sudden and intimate gesture.

Apparently the copy nin didn’t account ridiculous cute hugging as going too fast. Hesitating, you reached up and placed your hands at his back until he arched into the touch and assured you through that little motion. Helplessly you smiled; closing the hug around the man fully and finally relaxing as you noticed how similar the desperate clinging was to Rascal’s advances.

_Kakashi the mighty sharingan warrior snuggles into me like a child. Gosh, he’s so fucking cute._

That evening you got pretty sure that not only Rascal managed to worm a way into your heart, but Kakashi too and very successfully on top of that. The man just had a side on him which not only intrigued you, but attracted you additionally to his natural charms and looks. Otherwise you couldn’t explain the fluttering of your heart and the sweet warm emotion rising up everytime Kakashi smiled at you or when you two said goodbye, again with a shy kiss on the cheek you shared, like children on the playground, trying out what they had seen their parents doing.

When you entered your apartment, you felt the urge to dash right back out and hug the living daylights out of Kakashi, just because you wanted to see the incredibly cute blush on his upper face again. Burying your face in your hands, you squealed silently and shook your head, all the while faintly knowing that the jonin could probably hear it. “He’s so adorable…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Psst! Maybe some of you noticed, but I corrected the number of my chapters a tiny bit. It's totally not like I went ahead and wrote a little extra chapter with some smut + a lot of feelings. I will probably post it together with the last chapter next week, so stay tuned!)


	5. The occasions where your bond grows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two of you maybe move slow, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't be satisfying.

The date got cancelled due to an important mission which came up suddenly for Kakashi. But you visited him in the hospital with a basket filled with fruits and two of your ANBU romances afterwards and the smile the man showed was worth seeing him covered in bandages and cuts. Nevertheless you scolded him for being irresponsible and scheduled a light walk through a nearby park when he was getting dismissed by the Hokage herself.

From there on it was an almost daily occurrence you two would do something together, if now take a walk, eat lunch or dinner, train or exchange opinions about the romances you had read.

Just as promised, you got to know the infamous copy ninja and the real person couldn’t be farther away from the cool and aloof image he portrayed to the world. Kakashi was not only a sucker for romances, he was also a big softie. Every date would end with a close hug and with the ongoing time, the hugs only increased and dragged out, until you swore he was clinging to you like an obstinate flu. Not that you were bothered by it. Or on a rainy evening you catched him standing at the memorial stone and together you had prayed to the souls which lost their lives in the fights for your home. The whole visit was silent and as soon as you crossed the doorstep to your flat, Kakashi clung to you with the strength of a desperate man, eyes tightly shut and whispering incoherent things. Like never before you answered his hug and suppressed the small tears burning in your eyes as he nosed your cheekbone, just like Rascal had done so many times before.

 

Lately your mood had worsened due to the sudden missing of Rascal in your life, but Kakashi claimed instantly the now empty place (again). And he was even better than the cat. Sometimes the scarecrow lounged in your room, faintly complaining about the hardness of your couch and reading one of your books, sometimes he invited you into his flat and cooked for you (you insisted on helping what always lead to “accidental” touches on both of your parts). You liked to spend time with the man. Kakashi was not surprisingly a little tease (just like Rascal) who loved to make you blush, but in return he got just as easily flustered when you teased him back. You found out that Kakashi tended to drop things he held onto whenever you initiated some skin contact or made only a lightly fluffy comment and everytime you managed to catch sight of the fidgeting jonin your day was suddenly a little brighter.

Your friends noticed your improved mood too.

The first one to say something was Iruka, who handed you another mission scroll, for a B-Rank this time. One look at you and the man who had followed you casually and the teacher broke into a smile, wider than any you had ever seen on him.

“Good that you two worked your misunderstandings out.” he said.

“I wouldn’t call them misunderstandings,” you answered and read shortly over the description of the mission, “but yes, we cleared them up.”

“Thank god I hadn’t had to resort to desperate measures.”

“Thank god.”

“You do know that Akito fell during a talk with Anko into a bush of nettles?”

“Huh?” Surprised at the sudden change of topic you looked up. “Who?”

 

Iruka’s grin widened. “Akito. Your unlucky blind date.” At his words Kakashi stepped closer and the menacing aura emitting from the jonin crashed against the barriers of your mind. The teacher exchanged looks with the shinobi, nodded and continued, not without a little twinge of contentment swaying in his words. “Apparently Anko saw the need to tell him that she was also part of the T&I department and he overreacted. Poor guy fell into a maybe or maybe not prepared hole filled with nettles and now he has red pustules all over his body.”

“Good.” Not fazed you let the scroll snap shut. “But I doubt he will change his mind.”

Suddenly Kakashi brushed shortly his hand against yours. A little reassuring touch and secretly on top of that, meant to calm you and maybe also calm Kakashi down.

Iruka didn’t notice. Otherwise you surely would’ve faced more two-sided comments from the teacher. He simply signed the time when you accepted the mission and sampled your initials, then he waved after Kakashi and you, with the still present smile on his face.

“Did I ever tell you that Iruka and I clashed only a few weeks ago?” the scarecrow asked while strolling down the hallways.

You chuckled. “No. But he told me. In his opinion you were a –how did he put this?- a superficial hypocrite who thought he’s better than everyone and could lick his-!”

A low groan. “I think I get it.”

“But he forgave you. Otherwise I couldn’t explain his friendliness.”

One look and you noticed the clearly relaxed posture and the light smile playing around his lips. Kakashi looked really cute, so you checked first the close environment for any spectators, before leaning to him and pressing a kiss to his masked cheek. You lingered there for a moment, letting him feel the warmth and the touch of your caress and only then you retreated. Feeling lightheaded, you let a slow sensual caress down his shoulders follow, playing shortly with the edges of his vest, then gliding down over his arm and drawing a little circle into the crook of the elbow.

 

Kakashi reacted immediately. A silent gasp was everything as a warning as you got, then the jonin grabbed your hand and dragged you into a nearby empty room, just to bury his face in the nape of your neck and sighing contently as you responded to his desperate hug. At the motion you grinned into his vest and used the chance to flush your bodies closely together, until not even a speck of light could get in between you.

“You like contact,” you stated weakly, “Rascal was also constantly on me. When was the last time you let somebody that close?”

“Don’t know. A mission, I guess.”

“That doesn’t count.”

“Then…” Kakashi left the sentence unfinished and snuggled only closer. It was like he desperately wanted to crawl into your arms, to feel more warmth and more comfort, more of something only you could give him. His own limbs were lying around your lower back and shoulders, his knees bumped just an inch above yours into your thighs and he was still breathing into your neck, ruffling with his inhales and exhales lightly the single strands of your hair.

“It’s okay.” you whispered. Nosing Kakashi’s collarbone in return, your hands came to a rest on his upper back and pressed the man closer. The different scrolls he always carried around in his vest were painfully clutched between your bodies, but you didn’t complain. “Remember? I promised to be there for you. Well, I promised Rascal, but the fact that _you_ were Rascal also stands in the middle of the room. So I’m going to do that. Just come to me if you need something, alright?”

“Anything?” You never believed to hear the copy ninja ever that insecure. His voice was like a child’s; edging to a higher tone and shaking the tiniest bit. According to the things you heard about his person and what he told you willingly, he was send as a _child_ on the battlefield of the third shinobi world war and you had no idea what hells he had to live through until he became the infamous shinobi he was now, but of one thing you were sure: Kakashi never had the chance to deliberately explore his emotional world. He was an amateur in that department, never tried to really experience some feelings and had favored to suppress them in order to be a perfect emotionless shinobi.

 

“Anything,” you whispered back, but paused for a split second, “Wait… Anything? I’m not going to help with any corpses you have in your basement.”

“I actually thought into a more… physical department.”

“Oh.” The blush rose faster on your cheeks than you could really think about the innuendo. “Well… At least now I know why you sexually harassed me as a cat.”

Kakashi chuckled warmly. “It was an accident, I swear.”

“Sure. And your ball of goo you unloaded on me too.”

“…That was really an accident. I have a sensitive nose.”

“So bawling my breasts wasn’t? Are you lying to me on purpose?”

Embarrassed silence. His cheek which was close to yours burned and you didn’t have to look at him to know Kakashi was blushing like crazy.

 _So cute,_ your thoughts cooed, _Men who blush are so fucking cute!_

“Don’t worry,” after a lot of internal debating you loosened the hug and smiled at the man when he was looking full of scandalized incredulity at you, “I’ve forgiven you for that. I think right in the moment you sneezed loudly…”

“(Y/N)…” Kakashi groaned, “Please, don’t remind me.”

“Why not?”

He grumbled something inaudible, rolled his visible eye and tried to drag you into another hug, but you laughed and shook your head, all the while raising the mission scroll into his face. “I will forget about it when you train with me a little bit. I think I nearly got the hang on that special location jutsu and I improved my nin jutsu too. Can’t be prepared enough for a B-Rank.”

(Naturally you wouldn’t forget about the incident. Too much blackmail-potential.)

For a moment Kakashi stared suspiciously at the scroll, scanned the text and the contents of the escorting mission, then nodded, the grey hair glistening faintly. “Got it. I can show you an effective way to protect your client all the while fighting around him.”

“Maybe I already have one?”

“Oh?” Kakashi grinned widely underneath the mask. “Well then, show me.” Bickering and teasing, you two walked towards the training grounds where you actually managed to impress him with you’re a bit superior fighting techniques to work around a client. In between mixed gentle and not that sneaky touches on both parts, for example as Kakashi captured your hands behind your back and pressed himself closer than he should or as you tackled him to the ground, you just had to slide your hands down his chest, dangerously low and nearly coming to a stop at the small sliver of skin showing between the edges of his pants and his riddled up shirt.

 

No wonders Kakashi ended the training session after only a few spars, his upper face once more bright red and hurrying home. It was the first time he actually didn’t hug or kiss you on the cheek as a farewell and you let him, because you were just as flushed and heavily breathing as he was.

The B-rank came along with some problems. But together with your team, consisting of Genma Shiranui and Raidou Namiashi, you managed to swiftly defeat the threats going after your client and even not getting majorly injured. During the journey back you three had time to talk calmly and without the mayor danger of enemies listening, you found yourself enjoying the laidback attitude of Genma and the calm and calculated behavior of Raidou. At the end of the mission you were near to call them friends, but didn’t want to rush things. After three weeks of traveling together, the first stop to take (even before the report to the Hokage) was the hospital.

But an unpleasant sight catched you a bit of guard.

Raidou noticed first. Worriedly he watched out for the danger, until his eyes laid upon Akito, who ducked quickly behind the entrance counter, but not fast enough. In the split second you had seen him, the red pustules sprang into your vision and something resembling grim satisfaction spread in your guts. Hopefully they kept him from sleeping calmly, the little…

Raidou elbowed your side. “Why is one of the medic nin avoiding us?”

“I don’t know.” Your voice was telling another story, you knew, cold as ice and disgusted at the same time. Without a glance which would tell you knew indeed the pitiful human who claimed to be a man underneath the counter you passed by the reception of the hospital and announced loudly so that Akito just had to hear: “I’m sorry for intruding, but my team and I are in need of medical services. Is a _capable_ medic right now available?”

The woman at the reception was clearly confused, but you had to give her that she kept her professionality. With a smile she guided your group into a wing for shinobis recovering from missions, leaving Akito thankfully behind.

Genma was throwing one last glance over his shoulder and let the senbon he nibbled always on fling harshly upwards. “Okay, you totally have to tell us why the strange guy just jumped out of his hiding spot and ran away like a horde of snakes was on his heels?”

 

_It would be funny to tell them._

_It’s my business, they have no right to know._

_Fuck this, just tell them. My god, it’s nothing._

“He was a messed-up blind date I had, I told Anko, she took revenge on him.” A terrible mix out of both options ( _tell them_ and _shut the fuck up_ ), but that was everything you were willing to share with them and apparently it was also enough, because Raidou chuckled lowly while Genma broke into a hoarse laugh. You had the distant hunch they appreciated that you told them, measured at the pat on the back Raidou gave you and the scowl Genma send Akito’s way when he accidently came into the room where you three got treated.

The rest of the hospital visit was the normal procedure and you couldn’t wait to get home, to get clean and grab some other clothes than your ninja uniform, eat something which wasn’t consisting of ration bars, dried fruits or roots and maybe sleep for a week. Thus the surprise waiting for you inside your flat was more than appreciated.

Kakashi waved with a wooden spoon from the stove, again with his dark blue apron bound around his middle. Missing the vest, headband and shoes, he was probably the homiest picture you could’ve imagined and you smiled on instinct when the man turned around and raised a pot.

“Wanted to test a new recipe.” he said like it would explain that he was somehow in your flat without having keys or a decent reason, but you were too tired to care much. And the food was smelling simply heavenly, so you chuckled and strolled over to greet Kakashi properly.

“Hey.” Shortly you hugged him and hummed in approval as he leaned down and pressed his cheek to your forehead. “As always, it smells great.”

“Wait for the taste.”

 

You had to chuckle over the little banter you two shared whenever Kakashi tested one of his new recipes and until now, all of his attempts to convince you he couldn’t cook failed miserably. “Probably I’m going to love it. I’m in the shower for a bit, ‘kay?”

The jonin sighed, but released you. While you walked over to the bathroom, you felt how his onyx eyes raked over your back, checking for any injuries or bruises the medics hadn’t treated –in his opinion- well. When Kakashi was injured, he was too fucking careless for his own good. The stubborn donkey would continue to flee from the nurses with broken bones and half of his blood missing and even make jokes about his state, but the moment Kakashi catched you after a mission, he would secretly check you out. Not sexually, but checking for wounds, blood soiling white bandages, strangely bend limbs or limping in general. Maybe it was his fear to be left alone, maybe he acted like this because he lost already too many people to the cruel reality of the shinobi world, where poison and not correctly treated wounds could be fatal. Maybe, maybe, maybe… One day you would try to coax the answer gently out of the scarecrow, but this day was not today.

Today you wanted to enjoy Kakashi’s presence. Just as simple as that.

The food was just as good as the scent had promised. Though you had no strength left to actually form a coherent word, you hummed approvingly everytime you took a bite and Kakashi had his laugh when your eyes fell shut and misjudged the distance between your face and food. Immediately when your nose touched the piping hot mass, you were wide awake and screeched scandalized, while the man couldn’t hold on the laughter anymore and roared until tears threatened to spill.

He was still laughing as you took flight into the bathroom and washed your face for the second time this evening. You heard the low chuckle rummaging through the door and when you returned, instead of scolding him for making fun of you, you only sighed lowly and returned to devour the delicious dinner.

 

You thought you couldn’t be happier. But the evening wasn’t over.

After Kakashi and you did the dishes (you a lot slower and clumsier than usual and the grey haired man catching one plate before it could shatter on the ground) you wanted to chat with him a bit, report about your mission and proudly boast about the fights you had won, but the residing tiredness and the missed sleep catched quickly up to you. Constantly your eyes changed between two states: half-lidded and wide eyed because you tried desperately and by any means to keep them open. Additionally yawns sneaked their way in between your sentences, until you interrupted yourself, annoyed and tired as fuck: “This is going nowhere.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. “I must agree. I can’t decide if the urge to join your yawning comes from your boring style of storytelling or from seeing your tongue and teeth far too often.”

“You furry ass.”

“Not anymore.”

Automatically your eyes rolled around. “And still sassy.” You moved up from the couch where you had taken place to tell the mission stories and slowly walked to the door. “Your luck that I like you.”

Kakashi followed you, eyes creased and the fabric over his mouth rippled as he spoke, voice dark and smooth as honey. “And not since yesterday, if I heard that right.”

A low sigh escaped, but as you swiveled around and looked at the copy ninja, the light smile splaying over your features wasn’t wavering one bit. “Same to you, Kakashi. Same to you.”

Like every other evening, you leaned forward to receive your obligatory good-night kiss on the cheek. But today either you were so tired that you misdirected your head somehow or Kakashi misjudged the closed eyes and the probably dreamy smile, because instead of feeling his masked mouth resting at your cheekbone, your lips meet clothed lips. Surprised you gasped out and the man instantly backed away, sputtering apologies and spotting bright red ears, wide begging eyes and a worried expression.

 

“Sorry, I was just… The mood felt right and I thought it was perfect! I’m really sorry, next time I will ask you and make sure you’re okay-!”

Flabbergasted you touched your lips. There was still the aftertaste of worn fabric lingering there and Kakashi’s scent teased your nose, luring you in. Slowly you shook your head and looked up to the still rambling man, who worried far too much for someone who was usually such a levelheaded guy. “I’m okay with it.” you whispered weakly.

Kakashi stopped abruptly, uncertainty shining out of his eyes. “You sure?” he asked just as silent.

“Yes. I’m sure. But…”

“What?”

The snicker which escaped was both teasing and amused. “I thought our first kiss would be a bit less awkward.”

“If you want we can try again. Hopefully doing it right this time.”

“Meaning we forgo the mask?”

You were joking. Never would you expect that Kakashi would shed his protection for something simple as a kiss, so your eyebrows reached unknown heights when the man oh so slowly reached up, curled his fingers around the edges of the dark fabric and dragged it down. During the whole process Kakashi watched you intently, how you took his whole face in and savored every little second.

“Does that answer your question?” he murmured huskily and shivers wandered down your back.

You nodded, unable to form words. Still with your eyes locked, the jonin leaned again in and you mirrored him unconsciously. Two long seconds, nothing else parted your lips from touching again. The first contact was short, a test for both of you. Would it feel good? Like both of you expected, maybe dreamed about? Or was it foreign, an alien ministration and too strange to go for the second?

It was… good. Felt good. Careful, hesitating but also eager to taste the other. Slowly you raised your hands and placed them at his cheeks, cupping his face like an expensive delicacy and Kakashi returned the favor by wrapping his arms around your middle, his fingers leaving a trail of tingling skin on your flanks. But then he retreated and you wrinkled your forehead in slight disappointment.

 

In your opinion, Kakashi passed the test. So there was nothing speaking against another kiss, right? Your eyes fell shut when you went for the second and unable to help yourself, you sighed out when you felt his lips moving on yours, answering and just as curious. Kakashi was warm, always had been, but his lips were burning. Arms circled your waist and dragged you closer, hands dug into your sides and steadied your faintly trembling form, while he unhurriedly guided you through the kissing. Your own arms snaked their way up to Kakashi’s neck, searching for something to hold on and found their handle in his hair and neck. It was slow, careful and delirious, new and exciting, but also something you both recognized instantly. Tingles spread in your whole body, warmth coiled into a loose knot in your stomach and the almost feverish need to taste the man more was swallowing every other conscious thought. Your tongue was the first to move, coaxing Kakashi into reacting and hell, he did react. With a low guttural moan he let go of his feelings, his slick muscle dominating yours in every possible way. Surprised you gasped, then giggled cheekily when Kakashi growled and started to kiss more aggressively, ravishing your mouth with everything he got to give.

It was great. It was exciting. You wished you never had to end the kiss, but sometime the need for air got unbearable. One last flick and entwine of your tongues, then you retreated slowly, what quitted the man with a light disappointed huff.

As you ended the kiss, you were both breathing heavily and the absolute desire for another sinful contact stood clearly in the room. You watched how Kakashi studied your mouth which felt a little bit swollen, eyes raking over your entire face in the process, only to settle in the end again on your puckering lips.

“Wow.” you brought finally out.

He nodded. “Definitely worth repeating.”

“I can only agree.”

 

“(Y/N).”

“Yes?”

“I’m glad I was turned into a cat.”

There was one thing which was practically the central plot in every romance you had read. But something inside you wasn’t ready to go through the usual procedure and you could read the same hesitation in his eyes too. You understood, because to say those infamous three words would make Kakashi vulnerable. Being ninjas meant to face death or permanent emotional crippling on a daily base and your relationship was still so painfully fresh. It was like sending a child of five years on a battlefield, with nothing more than a rusty knife and little protection and knowledge about the world.

It wasn’t like you both weren’t heavily committed. It wasn’t like one of you would suddenly shy away or try to get out of your relationship. There were a thousand reasons. Though… Nobody really had to say those three words anymore, because it was clear as the stars at the nightly sky what you both felt for each other, after all the weeks filled with accidental or meaningful little touches, long hugs, cheek kisses and taking care of each other it should be. Right now, you were content with what you had. Right now, those words were insignificant. But when somehow someone would be daring enough to say those words in the future, they would become right and true, something to hold onto in bad times and an inspiration in good times. And most important, those three words would be answered, just as lovingly uttered and carefully spoken.

Gently you stroked over some spiky tresses dangling into his forehead, all the while Kakashi used the chance to close his eyes and press his head back into your palm, just like Rascal had done everytime you stroked his slender skull.

 “Me too,” you answered and snuggled into Kakashi’s chest, where you nosed his chest affectionately, “I’m glad you chose my place to stay.”

There were still things to discuss, things to experience, things to discover about each other, but right now, you couldn’t care less about the future. Tomorrow was a faint premonition in the back of your mind as you felt how Kakashi pressed his bare lips to your forehead and a weak smile stole its way on your face.

(Maybe it was a hoax of your wild imagination, but you thought you heard a faint “I chose you,” from the man.)

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

For the next week you floated on cloud nine. You were constantly on a high, you hummed at work and even you co-workers noticed, in front of them naturally Ibiki.

“(L/N)! Stay with me for a minute.”

You just finished the invading of an enemy ninja’s mind and scribbled the last bits of information the team fished out of his brain down when your boss called you. “Yes Ibiki-sama?”

He only gestured to his side, still looking at the spent prisoner which had the eyes rolled into the back of his skull. Hesitantly you stepped to the appointed spot, not sure what was going on. Did you make a mistake? But you had all the information the T&I department wanted to begin with, so everything should be fine, right?

“Yes?” you asked again.

The tall man chuckled weakly. “You look fine.”

What? Confusion spread in your head. Why was your boss interested in your mood or state? Was he worried you wouldn’t do your work anymore while working on regular missions? “Yes, I also feel… fine,” you said slowly, “I’m doing a good job, I think so at least and lately I move much more around, going on missions and such… What is this about Ibiki-sama?”

“Huh?”

For the first time since you worked in the T&I department you heard and saw your boss a bit absent-minded and confused. Apparently he was somewhere else and you knew exactly where his thoughts were headed when a sneaky hand waved from the door at the male, cladded into a beige trenchcoat.

The purple hair peeking through the doorframe was also a helpful hint.

“Anko,” you sighed lowly and pinched the bridge of your nose, “I know you’re there. Just… just come in. And Ibiki-sama, when everything is cleared up and every question which needs to be asked is asked, then… I see no reason I staying longer and watching… Whatever is going on here.”

Your friend had the decency to flush (you didn’t even know Anko Mitarashi was able to flush, with all the sexual dirty jokes she constantly dropped left and right) while Ibiki _glared_ at you. But somehow you didn’t really care much about the slight anger swinging in his look.

 

“(L/N), I wanted to confirm if your state of mind is on a constant level after the incident with Hatake.”

“My state of mind is… fine, just fine.”

“Sure? Your cat turned out to be a jonin.”

“We cleared things up.” This was so embarrassing. Ibiki acted like an overbearing father, questioning his hesitating daughter about her first crush in school. You fidgeted on your feet while Anko couldn’t hide her smug grin any longer. And Ibiki… Well, he was _Ibiki_. Cold, unmovable and so goddamn frightening. And at the same time you couldn’t help yourself but to feel warm and bubbly on the inside, because you had the faint hunch your boss was worried for your sake.

“We cleared things up,” you repeated with a little smile, “and we’re… we’re going fine.”

“Fine?” Ibiki asked, one eyebrow the tiniest bit raised.

The blush rushed into your cheeks. “ _Fine_. Yes, fine.”

There were far too many repetitions of the word ‘fine’ in this conversation. So you quickly tried to dodge any other attempts to question your self-control or any other emotional things and brushed past the two people as fast as possible. Nevertheless you catched the breathless giggle of Anko and a low rumble of Ibiki, which you identified as a snicker.

Your boss Ibiki Morino snickered. What a day.

Outside of the T&I rooms you looked around. Kakashi said he would wait for you at the end of the day, so where was he…?

“Look up.”

 

Right beside you, on a huge tree with incredibly green leaves, so high you had to crane your neck sat the masked shinobi, his eyes creased and waving at you when you chuckled at his attics. “I said I would wait for you, didn’t I?”

“You did indeed.”

Kakashi jumped out of his reading spot and after a quick check of your surroundings, he lowered his mask for a chaste kiss on the lips. Afterwards you two strolled through Konoha, talking, teasing and chatting like you were only friends, though the oh so sneaky hand gliding sometimes over your fingers and shortly entwining was telling another story. In return you sometimes bumped into him, pressed your hip into his.

The looks Kakashi gave you were just as great as the very satisfying and dragged out hugs and kisses you two shared in the privacy of your home, splayed across your bed and the blankets discarded on the ground.

“I think,” you said into Kakashi’s chest and snuggled closer, “I want to ask you something?”

The jonin entangled your legs properly with his and dragged his knuckles over your cheek, his mask again pulled up over his nose, but with a teasing sparkle in the coal eyes. “Technically you already asked a question, but I’m feeling generous today. Go on, ask.”

“Uhm… okay…” Embarrassed you nibbled at your lower lip before snorting annoyed, annoyed at yourself and at your embarrassment. “Why did you change back?”

He didn’t say anything, so you quickly continued, stumbling over your words and blushing wildly. “I mean, you said Ibiki and Tsunade worked on that and I didn’t question it until now, but I’m asking myself how exactly they did it. I’m… I’m interested. Curious.”

 

“Oh.” To your surprise the copy ninja flushed just as heavily as you and turned his head away. But he buried his masked features in the crown of your hair, so it was alright.

“So?” you asked.

“It’s… a bit complicated…”

“I’m certain I possess at least a fairly high intelligence, so go on please.”

If it was even possible, Kakashi blushed further until you swore he was some kind of living heater, wrapped all around you and trying to hide his face in your hair. He reminded you so much of Rascal whenever the cat had done something you would obviously dislike that you broke into an unconscious grin while Kakashi rambled on, his voice a little bit higher than usual. “The day before I woke up… in your bed, Tsunade tried something she found in the scrolls of the first Hokage, to loosen “inconvenient body transformations induced by a jutsu”… I mean, somehow it worked, so…” Kakashi shrugged underneath you. “I’m not complaining.”

“But how? How did it work?”

“Can we not…”

“Not talk about this? Why not? Is it that humiliating?” You grinned cheekily. A flustered Kakashi was so cute, it was almost impossible _not_ to tease him until he mumbled, stuttered, tried to hide his face or anything else indicating he was melting out of nervousness.

“N-no… Not r-really?”

“Was it a question or an answer?”

The scarecrow _whined_ into your hair, his breath tickling over your skin. “(Y/N)! Please!”

 

“What please? I cannot read minds, at least not without some seals and restrictions around my target.”

“It’s… It was about the will to change.”

Incredibly stupefied you freed yourself from the hug and stared down at Kakashi. His black eyes were everywhere but on your face, his hands were lightly tightening and loosening around your arms and his warmth radiating was luring you in to just let it be, but it was just too funny to drop the matter.

“It-It was about the will to become h-human again,” the jonin stuttered, “about the absolute need to change back. I already t-tried hard to change back in Tsunade’s bureau, but I couldn’t because I-I was thinking that you would be depressed and scared when Rascal wouldn’t come back and I didn’t want that, to see you scared and there was also the issue about me being… about my feelings for you. I didn’t w-want to leave you alone.”

“But why then the…” Speechless you shook your head, not really comprehending why Kakashi would find that embarrassing.

He was still beet red as he stumbled over his next words, so goddamn adorable you couldn’t help yourself but to press a little kiss to his cheek. “The… The night before… You were hurt and cried and… as-as a cat I couldn’t… I couldn’t help you like I would’ve liked to help and that was maybe the reason… for me changing back. I…” A deep breath, then Kakashi spilled apparently everything troubling him deeply, his tongue forming the words faster than you could comprehend. “IreallywantedtoeaseyoubyholdingyouandkissingandhuggingyoubecauseIloveyouandthatwasprobablythereasonwhy-!”

 

“Stop. Kakashi.” Somewhere in between the jammed syllables you heard something which made your heart race, which made your breath hitch and your pulse jump into new heights. A warm ball of fuzzy feelings churned and tightened around your insides, all the while the silver haired copy ninja had his eyes pressed shut and his shoulders almost automatically shrugged upwards, like he expected a scolding of you.

“Kakashi, you silly cat-idiot,” you cupped his face and smiled, “Thanks for telling me. I understand it was hard for you and I want to… I want to say it back.”

He opened his unscarred eye, uncertainty oozing from his figure. “Really?”

“Yup.”

“And?”

“What and?”

Suddenly Kakashi flipped you around and you found yourself pressed into the mattress, his presence hovering over you and the mask rippling in his grin. Strangely you didn’t mind much. It was nearly the same as back then when he had laid on your stomach as a cat, except it felt so much better with Kakashi being human.

You breathed deeply in. “Kakashi?”

The man raised an eyebrow as you curled your fingers around the hems of the black mask, but he didn’t stop you from tugging the flexible fabric downward. Past his nose, past his chin, getting slightly caught at his lips and revealing Kakashi’s whole face to you. “I love you.”

The man gulped loudly and bit for a short second into his lower lip. So fucking cute. “I l-love you t-too.” he stuttered after a few seconds of embarrassed silence.

Breaking into a warm laugh, you pressed a kiss to his mouth. “Rascal could express his feelings waaaay better.”

Kakashi snorted, his half lidded eyes blinking in disbelief. “But could Rascal also do that?” And when he lowered himself to slowly kiss you senseless, you had to agree. Yes, the human kiss was simply superior to the cat licks he used to give you all the time.

 

(“You’re staring at the cat nip again.”

“No.”

“Kakashi, I swear, if I find one more broken branch on my plants…”

“Then I just have to make sure you won’t find any proof of my crimes.”

“You’re lucky you’re cute. Otherwise I would seriously consider some kind of dangerous protection for my flowers.”

“When I was a cat you weren’t protesting when I-!”

“Yes?”

“Nothing.”

“Good kitty.”)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I said I would 'probably' post the lemon chapter with the fifth, right?  
> ...  
> Sorry, I looked today at what I've written and felt the need to rewrite it a tiny bit. Another week, then I will add it. >.<


	6. The night of your first time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi and you spend a day off together and you make a quite immoral offer to the man. Not that he would deny you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is interested, the work title for this chapter was: "Lemon's for the poor, lemon's for the rich, lemon's for everyone!"

You both agreed to take it slowly. Slow was fine, after all he had only little experience in relationships and you felt more secure in getting to know the copy ninja. But… You had _needs._ And you knew Kakashi was too much of a pervert to think of anything else, if his perverted actions as a cat weren’t proof enough for his dirty mind. But you too had your limits and those limits got breached everytime the jonin looked with his deep coal eyes into yours with the same teasing sparkle he had when he read an especially juicy scene in one of his Icha-Icha-novels or when your shared making-out-sessions got heated enough to make you moan and grind against him.

It wasn’t like Kakashi wasn’t fazed. You just knew he was, but his experience in hiding his arousal was top-notch. It was frustrating to know he was just as touched depraved as you, but wasn’t withering or making any sounds to show how much he liked your hands stroking over his face, his chiseled torso, the sharp waist bones and… In fact, the man maintained a frustratingly stoic expression whenever you tried to rile him up to the point of letting out any noises, may they be small and insignificant.

It became kind of a personal mission to make Kakashi lose his mind and self-control one day.

Apparently, the day came quicker than you believed.

It was one of the rare occasions both of you had a day off. No missions for Kakashi, no missions, minds to read or prisoners to interrogate for you. The grey haired man knocked early at your door and invited you with a silly bow and a gentle “May I escort the lady to a beautiful place to eat and drink to our heart’s content?” How could you decline? So you laughed at the sly expression on his face and took his hand, letting yourself dragged into a cute café with take-out services. The breakfast was devoured on top of the Hokage mountain, watching the sun slowly rise and enjoying the cool breeze chasing the rising summer heat away. Sometime you found yourself with Kakashi’s head in your lap, laying on the ground and stroking now and then through his scalp, while you two compared the form of the clouds to other ninjas or animals. It reminded you so much of your days with Rascal that you giggled for a few minutes and you weren’t able to explain the reason to him.

 

Next thing you two did was escaping the heat (despite the fact both of you didn’t like to sweat, Kakashi snuggled for an awful amount with you before agreeing) and spend the hottest part of the day in a lone part of the woods surrounding Konoha. Nearby was a small lake, perfect for a quick dip or to only let your feet cool off.

That was the start of your personal problem. Seeing Kakashi undress slowly to his briefs was torture for your hormones, not to talk about watching the water running down his pale skin and getting caught at his muscles. It should be forbidden for him to go swimming in the nature. And when he was turning around and smiled at you, full of innocent mischief, you swore your heart paused for a good minute only to skyrocket suddenly into goddamn nirvana.

_My god, can’t he be a little bit less good-looking or at least not know how sexy he is? This is fucking frustrating!_

Pouting in secret, you shredded your own clothes and ignored Kakashi completely as you walked into the cold water, only cladded into your underwear. (You missed the blush flashing over his face and the very quick peek he took with his sharingan.)

“This is heaven,” you mumbled to yourself and washed your arms, “I can’t wait for the summer to be over.”

Kakashi inched closer, swimming in the shallow waters and glancing up from his lower position. You instantly recognized the cat-ish part of his personality in that look. “Anything else you crave for?”

“Let’s see… A big ice pack.”

“Can’t survive the heat without some ice cooling your body.”

“I meant the one to eat, not the tasteless kind.”

“Oh.” Strangely the jonin backed away when he was just on the way to reach out and grab your waist. There was some kind of… solemn disappointment in his eyes, but the expression vanished just as fast as it had flashed over his features. “Then what flavor do you prefer?”

“Before we indulge into some meaningless banter,” you marched through the water and catched his hand in yours, “I want to swim a few rounds. Preferably with you. And was that just a very cheeky reference to ice play?”

“N-no…?”

“Just swim with me, you awkward furry.” You laughed loudly and jumped straight into the depths of the lake, not waiting for the man to follow you.

 

The hours spend in the forest were amazing, though you couldn’t rip your thoughts away from other pleasurable activities you two could indulge to. It was completely Kakashi’s fault. Completely. Absolutely. Certainly.

Okay, it was also your fault. At least you thought so as you pressed your naked skin against his while splayed out on a blanket, laying in the forest, drying off under the trees and chatting about this and that. You didn’t even try to mask your efforts to arouse him, just started to caress his stomach, the abs, the skin around his navel until he captured your hand in his and pressed a little kiss to your palm.

“Didn’t we agree we’re taking things slow?” Kakashi asked lowly.

“Maybe I’m done with going slow.”

“What?”

“Uhh…” Yes, you wanted to go further, but that didn’t mean you weren’t embarrassed. So you felt your cheeks growing warmer as you tried to find an answer to your slip of thoughts. “Did I say that out loud?”

He chuckled. “Yes. Loud and clear.”

“Huh. Uhm… Yeah… That’s kind of… Urgh, sorry.”

“For what? For being honest? Don’t be sorry. Actually…” The man let the words die, but his voice was shaking the tiniest bit, telling you he was just as tensed and excited as you were.

You tried to look into his face, but like everytime Kakashi was blushing heavily and didn’t wear his mask, he buried his face in your hair, denying you to the chance to know what was going on in his mind.

Gently you reached up and stroked his exposed left cheek. “Do you want to sleep with me too?”

 

Silence. The birds in the trees chirped, the wind ruffled through the leaves and in the very far distance you heard the loud howls of some Inuzuka dogs. Kakashi wasn’t moving an inch, only his breath accelerated and continued to brush over your head, neck and still a bit wet skin.

Then he nodded, short, sharp and nosing your hair.

That was it. The moment you waited for. Heat pooled in your stomach and you squirmed in his arms, trying your very best not to squeal out in happiness and to jump immediately at the flustered man.

_He wants to sleep with me, he wants to sleep with me! I’m so nervous yet excited at the same time!_

Instead you turned until you freed yourself halfway from Kakashi’s grip. You were still laying on top of him, you were still touching, but the air between you cooled off a good amount of the urge to pounce at him. “You want to?”

Kakashi nodded again, weakly, but he did.

“Really?”

Wild nodding and biting into his bottom lip until your thought he would draw blood.

“You know… When you and me are agreeing and if you think so too… Tonight I’m free.”

Kakashi stilled underneath you. His upper face was casted into shadows and as you looked into his eyes, they were blank and stared right through you. In comparison his hands holding your waist tightened, almost jittered in their effort to hold onto you with enough gentleness to not leave bruises.

Worried you brushed a few strands of his hair back. “Hey, I’m just… It’s obligatory, if you don’t want then we don’t have to, I mean, it’s just as much your decision as mine. If you think we’re ready… I’m only offering here.”

Still nothing. Just when you wanted to ramble further, Kakashi reacted by dragging you completely on top of him and buried his face in the crane of your neck, kissing your pulse point and then snuggling closer. “(Y/N)… Can you stop for a second? Please?”

“What? I’m not doing anything.”

“It’s not what you’re doing. I’m talking about your… offer.”

 

Kakashi’s voice was hoarser than usual, low and husky and still able to send shivers down your back. But that wasn’t the only thing innerving and arousing you. Both of you were still half naked and like this your chest stuck to his, his bare legs pressed into yours and as you tried to prop your upper body upwards, Kakashi yanked you back into position. Every of his actions told of a desperate need to hold you, to touch and feel and know he was cherished and loved.

He sighed, breathed deeply in and spoke, his tone incredibly soft and gentle like you never heard before. “I want you, for a while now. I can’t read “Icha-Icha-Paradise” anymore without skipping the real good parts, because whenever I do, I’m picturing you instead of the female lead. I’m fine with tonight, just give me a few minutes to calm myself.”

A hesitant smile breached its way on your face. “So that’s why you stuck to my books the last week.”

“Less action means more distraction.”

“They’re full of action, thank you. So…” You licked nervously your lips. “Tonight?”

Finally Kakashi raised his head and you were able to look into his coal eyes. There was so much standing in them, so much understanding and pure feelings and warm longing that you just had to lean forward and captured his lips, hoping you could give him the same kind of feeling in his lower stomach he just gave you.

“Tonight,” he whispered as you retreated, “Promise.”

“Tonight.” you agreed softly.

 

After that, Kakashi was unusually quiet. Not many words were exchanged during the rest of the visit, but the closer the evening came, the clingier the man became. All the while you clothed yourself you had to constantly fight off Kakashi’s hands and mouth, who groped and stroked over your breasts and hips. Not in a pushy way, but like he wanted to make subtly sure you wouldn’t forget what was going to happen later. Nothing less than two or three fingers, secretly wandering over your flanks downwards or upwards, but never a full hand. More than once you had to fight a low moan from seeping through your composed masks, but it was so damn hard while the scarecrow teased you with nothing else but his touches and his heated looks.

_The evening can’t come fast enough._

When you arrived at your apartment complex, you nearly dropped your keys due to your nervously shaking fingers. Just in time Kakashi took your hand and lead it to the lock, all the while his eyes raked up and down your figure until you broke into a blush.

“Can you stop that?” you asked weakly.

The jonin raised an eyebrow. “What exactly?”

“Looking… and mocking me like that. Riling me up. It makes me…” You covered shortly your eyes. “It’s _hot_.”

Flustered you pushed a few strands of your hair behind your ear and stepped into the darkness of the staircase. Kakashi followed closely, you could feel his body moving behind yours, together with the silent ruffle of his clothes.

You were hyper aware of his movements as he reached out and took your hand. His fingers were burning while your palm felt clammy from all the nervousness oozing out of you.

“I don’t feel like stopping,” he said, “because I like your reactions far too much.”

“What happened to the nervously rambling wreck who can’t even say the infamous three words without stuttering?”

“He came to the realization that there’s nothing to be nervous about.”

_Oh god. Why can’t Kakashi be a little bit less sexy? I hate it so much, but at the same time I love it._

 

But the “nervously rambling wreck” wasn’t completely gone. As you came to a stop in front of your entrance door, you turned around and spotted the bright blush on his again covered face. Thank god, for a minute you were worried you would be the only tomato in this relationship.

“Well…” Awkwardly you nodded first at your door, then in the direction of his entrance. “Which…?”

“Yours.” The answer came immediately. Kakashi didn’t even hesitate as you opened the door, he just literally dragged you inside. A squeal escaped you and in time you remembered to shut the door before the grey haired man stepped to the bed where he spend so many times as a cat and a little less nights in his human form, already shrugging his jonin vest off his shoulders and properly folding the material. “Your bed is more comfortable than mine.”

“Still acting like a cat, huh?” you said.

The answer was a nonchalant shrug and a glance at your casual clothes. You understood and slowly started to undress. First your shirt. Catching his eyes was easy, but keeping your self-confidence up while you dragged the fabric up and over your head, revealing the still slightly wet bra wasn’t. Kakashi took one step into your direction and dropped the vest on your couch. To call his look intense wasn’t fitting, not even burning hit the mark. No, his eyes carved paths into your exposed skin, painting delicious forms and patterns around your curves and down to your stomach.

The next thing to go were your pants. You tried to tease the man, tried to do the same he did to you the whole day by stripping for him. Cocking your hips, you let the fabric slip lower and lower, past your thighs and knees and stepping out of them when they reached your ankles. You were rewarded with a furiously blushing man, who fumbled visibly flustered with the edges of his plated gloves and couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

“Maybe I’m misinformed here,” you gestured towards the still clothed body of Kakashi, “but usually sex happens between two naked people. Currently I’m the only one who shreds some clothing.”

 

He chuckled warmly. “Really? Then there are many things you don’t know yet.”

“You know only about them because you’re a perverted hedgehog.”

“Perverted hedgehog…” Unhurriedly Kakashi striped the shirt off. “An interesting comparison.” It was one of his shirts with a mask connected to it, so he revealed not only his impressive body to you, but his face too. You loved to see his face, the small dark mark underneath his lips and the slight crease of his nose, also the pale scar at his chin, but for the first time Kakashi allowed you to look at his face for a long amount of time, except for the little kisses which left his face uncovered just long enough to sneak a peek.

Suddenly laughter bubbled up and broke out.

Kakashi’s wrinkled forehead portrayed exactly his confusion. “Why are you laughing?” Suddenly pouting he checked his torso up and down. “Is there a funny tattoo I don’t know about? I swear, the next time I accept a drinking challenge from Gai I will stop when he’s under the table, babbling to himself about the power of youth and such-!”

“N-no! That’s not…” Helplessly you pointed at him, then at yourself. “I’m just happy and excited and so incredibly _nervous_ , because you have tons of experience and I have not, I mean, I _have_ some experience, but not as much as you and…”

“Hey. Ssh. It’s okay.” Quicker than you could think, Kakashi embraced you. You stirred, but then you relaxed against his chest, while he cradled your head like you were made of glass. “First, I’m probably just as nervous as you. Here.” Calmly he raised your hand towards his chest and pressed it directly above his heart. It almost raced, pounding against your palm and with every beat you realized how wrong you were in assuming the copy nin was calm and relaxed.

“Second,” Kakashi whispered, “maybe I have more experience due to some meaningless mission-sex, but with you… (Y/N)… This isn’t meaningless. This here means much more than any of the affairs I had, because… It feels… God, that’s so cheesy.”

 

“It feels like the first time~…” you sang hoarsely, “It feels like the very first time~…”

“See?” Kakashi laughed helplessly. “You can do that so easily, while I… struggle so much with those emotions. I can’t talk about them, not like you.”

“Have you listened to me for one second? I can only ramble while I talk about you and me and _this_ …” You gestured towards your own heaving chest, then to his, back and forth, trying to somehow accumulate the love between Kakashi and you. “I have no other way but to joke with cheesy songtexts around.”

“Anyway,” the grey haired man said and nosed full of affection your cheek, “the point is: I l-love you and I want to s-sleep with you.”

“And there is my adorable nervously rambling wreck again. I missed him.”

“I believe he missed you too.”

“I can feel how much he missed me.” His boner poked now for some time your thigh, so you started to move your leg up and down. Kakashi hissed at the ministration and closed his eyes, apparently trying to concentrate again. Finally. A little victory. Finally he showed some kind of reaction and didn’t become an unfazed stone like usual.

“And?” You cocked your head. “Are we going to do this or do we spend the night chatting in only our underwear and the surprisingly stubborn pants of yours?”

“Feisty, aren’t we?”

“You have no idea.”

Mischief glammed in his coal eyes as he lowered his head. His breath brushed in waves over your skin and made you actually whimper out. “Less talking, more action. Got it.” Then his lips made you forget about anything else but the scarecrow.

 

Gentle. Kakashi was always gentle. But now you wanted urgency, pure need and hot passion, so you threaded your hands into his hair and flushed yourself fully against him, letting him feel how affected you were by Kakashi’s mere presence. Your tongue probed against his, entwined, moved, caressed and retreated, only to replay the same changing game once more.

You couldn’t coax him to go faster. Frustrated you whined deep in your throat, what he quitted with a low rumble and a single finger gliding down your spine, while his other hand laid passively on your waist.

“Kakashi, please!” You nearly cried out in frustration as he snickered only at your protest. “I need you, I beg you! Don’t _fucking_ tease me any longer!”

The answer was an added finger to the first, drawing circles on your skin and innocently sliding down your back. Kakashi tugged at the fabric of your panties and _nearly_ cupped your ass, but then he retreated like a flash. “Just like our relationship,” he murmured and kissed your cheek, “I want to take our first time slow. I n-never… had s-slow _sensual_ sex.”

Oh. Again blood creeped up to your face. So this was the problem. Not a real problem, but a small difference in opinions to what tonight would lead. You wanted something wild, animalistic and hard, but Kakashi, the touch depraved crazy jonin he was, needed something to gentler, something to ground and earth him. He wanted to experience a different kind of sex with you than he had until now, so why would you deny him such a chance?

 

Without a word, you nodded. You two had time. There was nothing to rush. There would be another night where Kakashi would fulfill your needs. Tonight you would gift him with this.

No further word was exchanged as you reached out to open Kakashi’s pants, only your eyes were connected. Your fingers nestled a bit with the zipper, but then you managed to pull it down, revealing the still growing member cladded into the thin fabric of briefs. The sound of the metal pierced through the heated silence.

“What about protection?” Your voice was laced with desire as you asked that.

“In my vest. Left side, inner pocket.”

“Always prepared.”

The same urgency you missed dearly in his kisses and touches Kakashi showed now while dragging you towards your bed. Your only sign that he was just as aroused as you. Jittering like you were freezing, you sat down and watched how Kakashi positioned himself in front of you. His body hovered over yours and in the faint darkness you could only see a short flash of red in his face before you remembered for what exactly you were positioned on the bed. You squirmed and reached for the hook of your bra, but he was faster than you. Still his pants only open, not discarded, Kakashi embraced you and fiddled for a second, before you felt the fabric covering your breasts falling down. Staring into his face, you lifted your hips and slipped your last piece of clothing down until you sat completely bare on your bed. In return you helped with the rest of his clothes, pulling down the pants and briefs altogether.

His erection was not abnormally big, but bigger than the rest of the erections you had seen in your life. He curved upwards, pointing at Kakashi’s navel and when you hesitantly touched the burning hot flesh, the jonin groaned lowly.

Looking up, you saw the blood rushing into his face and how embarrassed and excited the man became with such a little touch. So you couldn’t be blamed for starting a slow rhythm, pumping his member until you felt the hot flesh twitching in your palm.

 

Suddenly his hand laid on your shoulder, not to stop you. Kakashi searched for a handle, something to hold on and you were sitting on the bed, the perfect height for the man to grab either your head and hair or your shoulder. His head fell forward and he gasped as you speed up, encouraged by the wetness coating the flesh.

“Yes…”

For a second you thought you had illusions, but then Kakashi bucked into your palm and let out another, much louder moan. “Do that… again…”

“Like this?” you asked and stroked light like a feather upwards, only to increase the pressure in the downward movement, trying not to hurt him. Sharply the male nodded, shook his head, only to nod again.

“What now?” Confused you stopped every movement. “Did I hurt you? If so, I’m sorry-!”

“No.” He took a deep, shaking breath, then stepped out of his pants. “Not at all.” Gently he cupped your face, making you look up into his unbearable intense eyes. Kakashi was already sweating a bit, you could see the beads glistening on his forehead, neck and chest, but when he gently laid you on the bed and climbed next to you on in the cushions, you couldn’t care less.

You were about to do it. With Kakashi, the man you loved and crushed on for two years and it only needed the man to transform into a cat to get this far. A wide smile crossed your lips as Kakashi started to shower you in kisses, pressing his own mouth against your forehead, your cheeks, the jaw and neck, along the trails of your pulse and down to your collarbones. His hands snaked to your chest and for the first time, he touched your breasts.

A weak whimper escaped as Kakashi thumbed your nipples. The rough pads of his fingers drew circles around the sensitive perks, pressured gently and made sure you were comfortable with everything he did. Leaning further down, he first glanced into your eyes before letting his tongue run over the darker skin, all the while his coal eye and the red sharingan were wide open to watch your reaction.

 

“Ka… Kakashi…” You gasped out. Your skin felt too tight and at the same time too loose, heat gathered in your lower stomach and your thighs and as you watched him sucking on your breasts, first the right, then the left, you couldn’t hold the little sighs of pleasure in anymore. “P-please… Please, Kakashi…”

 His tongue swirled around your left nipple, then the sudden rush of cool air made you keen. “What do you want?” he asked huskily.   
“You. I want you!”

“Aah.” He smirked and gave your breasts a last longing squeeze. “Me? The nervously rambling wreck? The perverted hedgehog?” Kakashi’s voice grew darker and closer until every word became a caress at your sweat stained skin. “Furry? Rascal?” A light kiss to your lips. Hungrily you tried to chase his tongue, arched into his warm hands and desperately tried to claw into his flanks, but Kakashi shook slowly his head.

“One moment (Y/N).”

“Don’t…” You watched him standing up and walking over to his vest laying on the couch. For some torturing seconds Kakashi rummaged through the pockets, only to tug a small quadratic object out. The next inhale got caught in your throat. You were about to do it. You would sleep with Kakashi, have sex with him. Anxiety ran through your system like never before, including your very first time with your first boyfriend.

He was quicker back by your side as you could break into a full panic attack at the prospect of having him inside you. Wiggling a bit on the cushions to adjust himself comfortably, Kakashi threw another look at you and smiled gently.

“No worries, I’m coming back. Always.” Like he was a cat again, the man nosed your cheek. “I promise. Like you promised.”

 

Finally. His fingers found their way to your core and circled your clit. And they slipped lower, always circling and drawing little patterns on your lower lips and to the wet flesh until they carefully pushed inside. Again, only two fingers tested the waters, but the contrast of heated slick wetness and his colder digits invading you was too much. You moaned loudly just to bite embarrassed your lips when the sound echoed between the walls of your apartment. Your hands flew up to bury themselves into his hair, dragging him closer and kissing him and you whined deep in your throat as Kakashi gave in to the urgency you displayed. Soon the kiss grew out of control and his fingers vanished from your core, only to reappear in the form of strong hands gripping your hips, nearly bruising them when he dragged you closer.

“Do you want to…” His hushed whisper was crashing against your neck. “Are you…?” A sliver of a begging undertone mixed into his voice, like he couldn’t contain himself any longer, no matter what his mind wanted and craved for. Kakashi’s body was more than ready.

His erection pressed against your lower stomach. Teasingly you let your hips gyrate, massaging him, what earned you a breathless gasp.

“Yes,” you murmured back, “I am.”

“Okay.” Kakashi nearly panted and nodded, his eyes shut close like he tried to concentrate on a difficult task. “Maybe you should…” His fingers trembled heavily as he raised the condom into your sight. “I don’t think I’m calm enough for this.”

“I think I can manage.” He was adorable. Kakashi tried so hard to mask his nervousness, tried so hard to be confident enough to lead the way, but his feelings were getting the better of him. Smiling widely and thinking about the next place you could caress, you took the cool plastic out of his shaking hands and opened the package. Sliding the condom over his erection was not easy in the darkness, but you kept your word and managed, gifting the male at the same time with a few more strokes over his member and navel. Kakashi’s skin had an interesting texture, a little bit roughed up from years of active duty, a little bit scarred, but mostly his flexing muscles underneath your hands catched your curiosity.

 

Suddenly Kakashi rolled you on your back. He hovered above you, his arms steadying him from crushing your form, while he stared full of intensity at you. You drew a shuddering breath in, shaken up by the sheer mass of emotions in this lone look.

The jonin leaned down. “Mine,” he whispered and his lips nibbled shortly at your neck, “You’re mine.”

“And you’re mine.” you answered just as lovingly.

You felt his erection rubbing up and down your core, the slightly slick protection mixing with your own wetness. Carefully you reached down and guided him to your entrance, all the while you stared into his eye and tried not to flinch when you felt how the man almost shuddered violently above your body when he felt your caressing fingers on his erection.

As Kakashi pushed in, both of you moaned out. It was long ago you felt like this, feverish, hasty and not able to wait any longer, but with an enormous amount of self-control you managed to not beg the man to go faster and foremost _harder_. It was about him tonight.

Slowly the grey haired man eased himself inside you, biting during the whole process his bottom lip and only gasping when you clenched your inner muscles around him. He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck and his breath brushed in haggard waves over your sweaty skin, while you clawed into his back like your life depended on it. Maybe you drew also blood, but you were too focused on the growing pressure on your lower stomach.

Another whimper tore from your lips, weak and fleeting when Kakashi was finally fully sheeted inside, his muscular thighs pressing to yours, his stomach and chest flushed to your body and still Kakashi let butterfly kisses rain up and down your neck.

“Are you alright?” he asked lowly.

You nodded hastily. “More than that.” Threading your hands into his hair, you tried to drag the man closer, but there was simply no more space between your bodies. So you had to justify with clinging tightly to Kakashi when he slowly retreated. “I’m more than alright.”

 

His answer was a sly chuckle and a furious blush forcing its way on his face. Such a contradiction, such a lovely, adorable expression. In the darkness you felt your way over his back, discovered with your fingertips the flexing muscles and hard scars, the countless marks of a successful shinobi. One day you wanted to kiss every single one of them, but for now you settled for trying to find any spots which would make Kakashi shudder and gasp out loudly.

“Kami,” he breathed out, “(Y/N)… What are you doing to me?”

You laughed shakily, but groaned as he backed away. The delicious friction was driving your mind into madness. “Probably the same what you’re doing to me, my rascal.”

To your amusement Kakashi started to rumble deep in his chest, the same rumble you heard at the morning he had waken up in his human form again. A purr. He was purring for you. Somehow that was cuter and hotter than any compliment about your appearance he could whisper.

“Love you.” The words came faster out than you could think. “I love you Kakashi.”

The declaration felt still foreign on your tongue. Usually you would show how much he meant to you by body contact and not simply saying it, but… Tonight was special.

“I love you too.” For the first time he didn’t stutter. His warm eyes were locked in yours, an intense pool of onyx and a sea of red with three black spots swirling lazily around.

Kakashi started to build a rhythm. Back and forth he rocked your body, shoring himself from crushing yours and not breaking out of the slow thorough motions even when he was trembling and you did everything to make him fall completely apart. His hips were rolling in a snail’s pace, mocking you with the only slowly rising pleasure and heat. In comparison to his halfway composed self you were withering underneath the man, one leg slung around his waist to give him more access to every part of your form and weakly babbling things you wouldn’t remember later, while he continued his deep torturing thrusts.

Kakashi maybe never had slow sensual sex before, but that apparently didn’t mean he had no idea what he was doing. The air was filled with your moans and whimpers, caused by his motions; hands gliding from time to time between your bodies and flicking your hardened nipples or wandering even lower to your clit, teasing the nub with a stealthy finger only to vanish just as fast. Almost sluggishly Kakashi moved inside you, eyes trained on your face, which wrenched in the pleasure he granted you with.

 

Your insides melted and the closeness was almost too much. At the same time you craved for more contact, for the next gentle stroke and push forward, the following ministration along your breasts or hips. You wanted to stay like this forever, locked with Kakashi and tightly entwined, but there was your orgasm creeping up on you.

Suddenly the man hit an especially sensitive spot inside with enough force to make your back arch almost painfully. A mix of a scream and moan escaped your lips and you loosened the hold around him. “Kakashi… Please… M-more…”

Tears stood in your eyes as you begged him wordlessly to go faster. This slow tempo was torturing you into new heavens, too languish to be satisfying and too extreme to bear any longer. And you sobbed weakly as he _finally_ complied, picking up a faster pace and devilishly snapping his hips forward, all the while his hot lips were pressed to your neck, nipping full of childish mock on your already teased surface.

You let your inner muscles flutter around his member, trying to rile Kakashi up into hammering into you, but you didn’t expect his next actions and you nearly came on the spot from the overall sweetness oozing from him.

The man stopped to pound into you. His chest heaved and you heard the deep breaths resounding through the air, noticeably accelerated. You swore in your dazed state you even heard him gulp loudly as he looked down, an enigma as always.

“Why are you stopping?” You were just as out of breath as Kakashi, maybe even more. Boneless you laid on your bed and stared up to him, your inner muscles tightening and loosening around his erection. He only looked at you with his mysterious eyes, so you tried to touch his face to make sure everything was okay for him.

The question was answered as he reached out and took your hands before you reached your goal, lacing your fingers together, wordless and only making sure you wouldn’t be crushed by him before he again started to make love to you. Oh so slowly, gentle and overbearing at the same time, getting rougher with every minute of assurance you could take his whole length without pain. You moaned at the intimacy of the gesture, tingles spread in your whole body and the orgasm came a lot closer when Kakashi smiled crookedly down, eyebrows knitted together and sweat pouring from his forehead.

 

The peak was close. So close. Jitters shook your form, you arched into his thrusts and pounds and tried to respond to the male the best you could and your fingers were clenching his. But only when Kakashi started to come undone, his hips snapping forward without the self-imposed restraints holding him back and hitting the _most perfect spot, oh yes, don’t stop!_ Only then you came with a weak wordless scream rippling through your lungs, your inner muscles clenching around him tightly. White bloomed in your mind, exploding in a bright wave crushing into your consciousness. Kakashi rode you through your whole orgasm, not letting up and not faltering one bit; he gifted you with the longest pleasure you ever had until it nearly stung from the tension he put on you.

A long extended groan mixed with your shallow exhales and the jonin buried his face again in your shoulder as he followed over the cliff, snuggling into you while his seed flooded the condom. You felt the warm liquid inside you, parted by the protection, nevertheless there was something incredibly arousing mixed into his release.

For some time no one said a word. Both of you were too spent to say or to do anything. Instead it felt just right to lay on the bed, entangled and comforted by the loud breathing sounds, fingers still laced and Kakashi resting his forehead against yours, his eyes peacefully closed and his grey hair mixing with your strands.

You pressed your lips to his cheekbone. “Hey. Don’t fall asleep on me.”

His normal eye opened lazily. “I’m not.”

“Then why do you remind me of a certain cat napping on my shoulders?”

“Because I’m said cat.”

“Not only that,” you snickered, “but you looked like you were falling asleep.”

 

The man grumbled something under his breath and hesitantly released your hands. He stood up and in the movement his now limb member slid out of your center, leaving you feeling slightly empty, but when he had discarded the condom and threw it away, he was quicker back in bed than you could have time to recover properly. Instantly Kakashi pressed you close, his arms slung around your waist and shoulder and not caring one bit that both of you were still heavily sweating. After a moment you moved your own arms around his frame and snuggled into him, what Kakashi quitted with a little grumble in the back of his throat. He held you just like the morning where he woke up in his human form and as a reminiscence of that day you quickly pressed a silly tender kiss to his pectoral muscle.

“What are you doing?” His hoarse voice vibrated in your ears.

A blush forced its way on your cheeks. “Nothing much. Just… remembering.”

“Hm? Well,” Kakashi nosed your temple with a little grin on his lips, “you can remember how many times you want.”

“Under one condition.” Feeling bold, you kissed his chest once more and felt the muscles ripple underneath your lips. “Next time I’m leading. You’re only teasing me and I can’t stand that too often.”

Silence. Then Kakashi broke into a warm laugh which rolled through his whole form and resonated in yours too, making you smile widely. Hearing his laugh after a round of sex was marvelous, you decided and you would try to hear it as often as you could.

You squirmed around until you could look into Kakashi’s face. “What’s so funny?” But the man only shook his head, still weakly laughing and showing off his teeth as he laid his forehead against your own. In the process his warm breath ghosted in short waves over your features, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care much. Instead the question why he was laughing in the first place was keeping everything else at bay.

“I just…” he heaved after a few more minutes of giggling, “I just realized how incredible you are.”

(In reality, he thought that you were too perfect to be meant for him. So many years he had struggled, kept hiding behind his mask and smutty books, hoping to find someone who would just _stay_ with him. During the last year he came to the conclusion he wasn’t worthy of being loved and gave up ultimately, only crushing and not daring to speak or interacting with you because who knew what would happen to you? Everyone who was once dear to him died, from his family to his sensei and also his friends, leaving Kakashi behind. And now he had you, someone who promised to do your very best to return to his side and in return he swore to himself that he would do everything in his power to protect you and make you happy. Just as happy as he was currently. But he also knew you would try to talk that thought out of his mind if he would tell you this, so he changed the original statement a little bit.)

 

A blush creeped over your cheeks as you heard the bold statement. Embarrassed you huffed, though the grin wouldn’t fade, no matter what you did.

Kakashi used the silence to get completely comfortable. In the end he was again tightly flushed to you and nosed gently your temple before wishing you a gently slurred “Good night,” then he was out like a light.

To your faint amusement he snored the tiniest bit.

“Kami,” you sighed out, but managed to pull up the blankets before you also closed your eyes, “no matter if now a cat or human, this man seriously loves to snuggle.”

It was not a complaint. In fact you couldn’t await the next morning and the next night and the day and night after that. There was so much to experience and you were excited beyond measures that those things weren’t hopeless fantasies anymore.

Before you really thought about it, you raised one of his hands to your lips and kissed the calloused palm. In his frail sleep Kakashi grumped lowly and snuggled closer, his nose pressing into your hair and arms tightening around your waist like you were just a big plush toy.

You just had to smile weakly when you felt the man calmly move and breathe, like you two had never done anything else but snuggle after a round of intense sex in your bed. “Sweet dreams, my little rascal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. And I mean: WOW. It's the end. This is my second work I finished and I can't thank all of you enough for liking this story, for commenting, for camping in front of your PCs and desperately waiting for the new chapter. As I stated, I didn't expect such a great resonance for this work, so I was pleasantly surprised. ^-^  
> Hopefully this last chapter is also cute and fits into the rest of the story. I wish all of you a great weak, best of wishes and fun with this last chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, I wanted to cut things short, but I'm apparently unable to do so... This was supposed to be a one-shot! (>.<) But the idea grew and grew until I have yet again 25 pages written out and it's not even the end.  
> Though, I try to get things to an end.  
> I just want to keep things short... damn...


End file.
